Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:

[Antillanka]

I am not the high priest of Loki and am not religiously obligated to put buckets of water over the door to the military conference room.
I am not allowed to become an ordained priest of Loki
I am not allowed to become an ordained priest of any god, deity, or supernatural entity.
Especially the Hiisi

Sir. Orc, you deserve a medal

[JoB]

Sir. Orc, you deserve a medal

Not allowed to wear medals claimed to have been awarded by supernatural entities ("readers" included)
Not allowed to trick greenhorns into awarding them to me as a proxy to such entities
Standing order to present self to the CO for a uniform inspection every morning oh-five-thirty
Not allowed to appear for same with full battle gear and grimacing "because I'm still tired"
Not allowed to drag a chest with same gear behind me right across the paved parade ground

[Antillanka]

Rereading the things Mikkel is not allowed to do, I've been thinking... did they lower the discipline standards that much in Y90? Are they that desperate for conscripts? Because, if Mikkel did only one or two of those things in any this-age-army, he'd still be cleaning the bathroom floor with his tongue as a punishment! Well, he's jobless for a reason, but still...

[RandomTexanReader]

Rereading the things Mikkel is not allowed to do, I've been thinking... did they lower the discipline standards that much in Y90? Are they that desperate for conscripts? Because, if Mikkel did only one or two of those things in any this-age-army, he'd still be cleaning the bathroom floor with his tongue as a punishment! Well, he's jobless for a reason, but still...

It's a mystery. Blackmail is my guess.

[JoB]

Blackmail is my guess.

Are you suggesting that Mikkel keeps "finding" jobs around Denmark because Trond wouldn't like him to get hired to Norway?

[RandomTexanReader]

Are you suggesting that Mikkel keeps "finding" jobs around Denmark because Trond wouldn't like him to get hired to Norway?

This is now fact.

[Antillanka]

Are you suggesting that Mikkel keeps "finding" jobs around Denmark because Trond wouldn't like him to get hired to Norway?

This is now fact.

You beat me to it! This is part of my head canon now hahaha

[Sir.Orc]

New items for the list:

We do not need to blow up every bridge we come across in case there are trolls living under it.
Even if the last three or so did have trolls under them.
Goblins do not make excellent cobblers.
Giving gold rings to goblins will not make them mutter "my precious".

[Aierdome]

New items for the list:

We do not need to blow up every bridge we come across in case there are trolls living under it.
Even if the last three or so did have trolls under them.
Goblins do not make excellent cobblers.
Giving gold rings to goblins will not make them mutter "my precious".

  My dear Sir, that's brilliant!

Not allowed to keep beasts as pets.
Even if I promise that I won't feed it after midnight.

[Sunflower]

I am not allowed to tell people with gastric distress to "put de lime in de coconut and drink it all up." 

[Bobriha]

(Not mine)
Not allowed to change anyones uniform to Nazi Germany's military uniform even when I think it suits them better.
Not even when everyone thinks it suits them better.

[Keeper]

(Not mine)
Not allowed to change anyones uniform to Nazi Germany's military uniform even when I think it suits them better.
Not even when everyone thinks it suits them better.

Not allowed to suggest any changes to the uniforms.

[Ragnarok]

Not allowed to operate helicopters.
Not allowed to operate jet aircraft.
Not allowed to operate propeller aircraft.
Not allowed to operate flying vehicles of any sort.
Not allowed to convert non-flying vehicles to flying vehicles.
Not allowed to use catapults for above purpose.
Not allowed near airfields.
Not allowed near tank depots.
No longer allowed near the jeep garage.

[JoB]

Not allowed to operate helicopters.
Not allowed to operate jet aircraft.
Not allowed to operate propeller aircraft.
Not allowed to operate flying vehicles of any sort.
Not allowed to convert non-flying vehicles to flying vehicles.
Not allowed to use catapults for above purpose.
Not allowed near airfields.
Not allowed near tank depots.
No longer allowed near the jeep garage.

Not allowed near any jeeps driving officers around.
Not allowed near battle tanks in movement.
Not allowed near the bicycle depot.
Not allowed near the friggen toaster anymore!
Required to keep a 10 km distance from any power grid installations.
Required to stay at sea and keep a 10 km distance from any land surface.
Including the seabottom below.

[Ragnarok]

Building a "Cat-a-pult" is neither a useful nor humane military tactic against Trolls.
No longer allowed near Grade A cats.
No longer allowed near Grade B cats.
No longer allowed near cats of any kind.
No longer allowed near animals even approximating catness.