Poetry collection

[Aprillen]

Page 304

(Further adventures in runo meter)

Tumbledown Schoolhouse

Other children used to play here.
Now there's nothing but decay here,
Crumbling walls and leaky ceiling,
But no wrongness, no bad feeling.

Empty chairs and fallen rubble
But no sense of taint or trouble,
Just the wind through beam and rafter
Like the ghost of long gone laughter.

Three are safe and three still waiting
In the dark, behind the grating.
Hurry, little mother, get them
lest some dire fate beset them.

Other children used to play here.
Now you get to hide and stay here.
Out there danger waits, and violence,
Here is stillness, here is silence.

[LooNEY_DAC]

Pg 304

"Let Them Squee"
from "Let It Be"
by the Beatles

When an update hits with images so
Cute or sweet or cuddly
The fans will all go nuts, let them squee
The shippers get their goggles
And the sound can be so deafening
As they all go crazy, let them squee

Let them squee, let them squee
Let them squee, let them squee
As they all go crazy, let them squee

And when Minna lobs a hand grenade
In the Disqus comment threads
Well she's all but saying, let them squee
And something so innocent
Can bring them up into a frenzy
As she's all but saying, let them squee

Let them squee, let them squee
Let them squee, let them squee
As she's all but saying, let them squee

Let them squee, let them squee
Let them squee, let them squee
As they all go crazy, let them squee

Let them squee, let them squee
Let them squee, let them squee
As they all go crazy, let them squee

The Lalli/Emil shippers
And the ones that cry for Reyuuri
Are still mostly harmless, let them squee
And so all the Minnions cry out now
At Dear Minna's imagery
Since they're mostly harmless, let them squee

Let them squee, let them squee
Let them squee, let them squee
Since they're mostly harmless, let them squee

Let them squee, let them squee
Let them squee, let them squee
As they all go crazy, let them squee

[corncobman]

Pg. 305

Wet Behind the Ears

Disgruntled Lalli cat enjoys the bath not.
The hair specialist cleans out his head,
And those tricky and hard to reach spots.
This wasn't in the mission brief, he'd rather be dead.

Meanwhile Tuuri is hard at her work,
Transcribing that book for the big Dane.
Reading voluntarily, what a strange quirk.
Sigrun must think that Mikkel insane.

Tuuri promised to be gentle, but what's this a rip?
It's fine as long as it still can be read.
Just make sure there are no more of those slips
Or Mikkel will use that book to bash open your head.

Where is poor Reynir, locked up in the tank?
The team may not trust him still to let him out.
He doesn't even have a military rank, but
At least he's not being stared at by the scout...

------------------------------------------------

Cat's in the Bathtub (based on Cat's in the Cradle by Harry Chapin)

Our scout arrived just the break of day
He came to the tank in the usual way
But there were trolls to catch and books to pay
We tend to sleep while he is away
And he was scoutin' 'fore I knew it, and as he knew
He'd hiss "I'll get back at you, Swede
You know I'll get back at you"

And the cat's in the bathtub with the silver hair
Getting real wet while he's sitting down there
When your washin' done, Swede?
I don't know when,
But you'll get towelled off then
You know you've had a good clean then

Our skald turned book just on the same day
She said, "Thanks for the book, Dane, I copy this yay
I've got a silk touch but", she said "I'm afraid
I sort of ripped it", he said "That's OK"
And he walked away but his face never changed
And said, "I'm gonna keep this book, yeah
You know I'm gonna keep this book"

And the cat's in the bathtub with the silver hair
Getting real wet while he's sitting down there
When your washin' done, Swede?
I don't know when,
But you'll get towelled off then
You know you've had a good clean then

Well, he came from a crate just the other day
So much like a girl I just had to say
"Braid, I'm looking at you, can you sit for a while"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, friend, is to savour the cool breeze
Like, to sight-see, can I get out please"

And the Braid's in the bathtub with the bright red hair
Getting real wet while he's sitting down there
When your washin' done, friend?
I don't know when,
But you'll get towelled off then, Braid
You know you've had a good clean then

I've long since returned, my hair's dried away
I called him up just to do the same
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, friend, if I can find the time
You see my hair is a hassle and I have shampoo
But I won't be needing you to, friend
My head won't be needing you to"

And as I lathered his hair it occurred to me
His head had just got fleas
The Swede had picked up fleas

And the Swede's in the bathtub with the sparkly hair
Getting real wet while he's sitting down there
When your washin' done, friend?
I don't know when,
But you'll get towelled off then, Swede
You know you've had a good clean then

[LooNEY_DAC]

Pg 305

“A Tuuri Lament”
from “In My Life”
by the Beatles

There are pages yet to transcribe
And I hope I’m done before
Emil’s finished bathing Lalli
But I’d better not rip any more

So these pages keep their meaning
A record of each Rash case they saw
So Mikkel wants to have himself a copy
But Sigrun thinks, “Read books? Pshaw!”

Now, she doesn’t hate book lovers
Though it’s not what she would choose
Telling Mikkel, “To each his own”
But that attitude gives me the blues

For she knows not what she’s missing
A million or more worlds in your hands
I’d better stop and get back to transcribing
This text saved from Silent Lands

[KicknRun]

Page 304

(Further adventures in runo meter)

Tumbledown Schoolhouse

Other children used to play here.
Now there's nothing but decay here,
Crumbling walls and leaky ceiling,
But no wrongness, no bad feeling.

Empty chairs and fallen rubble
But no sense of taint or trouble,
Just the wind through beam and rafter
Like the ghost of long gone laughter.

Three are safe and three still waiting
In the dark, behind the grating.
Hurry, little mother, get them
lest some dire fate beset them.

Other children used to play here.
Now you get to hide and stay here.
Out there danger waits, and violence,
Here is stillness, here is silence.

er... Could I maybe record this? With credit to you.

[MegaJar]

Heya! First time posting in the forums here. By popular request, I'm copying a piece of filk that I created in the page 305 comments from there to here, that it might be preserved for future generations of Minnions. Enjoy!

<snip>

And now, I present y'all with my newest work of art filk. It has nothing whatsoever to do with this page, but inspiration struck and I just HAD to obey!

This corresponds to pages 260 through 268. Here we go!

------------------------------------------------------------
Saint Emil's Fire (To the tune of John Parr's Saint Elmo's Fire)

Looking up, I can see the horror on the wall.
Leaping down, trying to devour me, hair and all.
I swing my lantern, and it shrieks in pain,
Then I bolt for the door, but it's all in vain.

Second troll, ambushes me as I try to run.
Pins me down. Panicking, I holler for Sigrun.
She cuts its heeeaaad off, and we start to flee.
But first I must destroy...this monstrosity!

I can make a big explosion, underneath the blazing sky.
I'll be where the flames are risin' higher and higher!
Gonna set this blaze in motion, all I need are some flares and fuel.
Soon the trolls are gonna fry in Saint Emil's Fire!
Oo-oo-oo-ooooohhhh!

Coughing smoke, stumbling out the door, it's time to go.
(Yeah, it's time to go.)
Lalli's gone, but then he jumps right out the window.
I'm glad you maaaaade it, you wierd cat-man.
Now please don't glare at me, just get in the van!

I can make a big explosion, underneath the blazing sky.
I'll be where the flames are risin' higher and higher!
Gonna set this blaze in motion, all I need are some flares and fuel.
Soon the trolls are gonna fry in Saint Emil's Fire!
I can kill the largest Giant, I can slay the wildest Beast.
I can feel Saint Emil's Fire burnin' in me!
Burnin' in meeeeee!

Get out of my face,
You mad, crazy girl.
Adrenaline crash,
I'm going to hurl!

I can hear my heartbeat racing, I can see my vomit fly.
Feel like a wreck again, I need to unwind.
Still, I set that blaze in motion, all I needed were flares and fuel.
Now the trolls are gonna fry in Saint Emil's Fire!

I can make a big explosion, underneath the blazing sky.
I'll be where the flames are risin' higher and higher!
Gonna set this blaze in motion, all I need are some flares and fuel.
Soon the trolls are gonna fry in Saint Emil's Fire!
I can kill the largest Giant, I can slay the wildest Beast.
I can feel Saint Emil's Fire burnin' in me!
Buuuurniiiiiin', burnin' in me,
I can feel it burnin'...

[LooNEY_DAC]

Pg 305

“Cat-Boy”
from “Hey, Jude”
by the Beatles

Cat-Boy
You hate these baths
But you walk paths
That get you filthy
Don’t tell me
It didn’t get
On your skin
(You’re really thin!)
It got you filthy

Cat-Boy
I know it’s cold
For a scout bold
Who’s still so tired
This will pass
And soon you’ll be
Back in bed
Resting your head
You’re still so tired

But after all
Your scouting round
Cat-Boy, we’ve found
That you’ll need a bath
To get you all clean
And don’t you fall
A victim to
Your pride, not you
Don’t go down that path
That way is so mean

Cat-Boy
We’re almost done
Feel the warm sun
On your clean body
It always
Feels better
After a soak
Here’s a dry cloak
For your clean body

All through the night
You’ll scout it out
Cat-Boy, no doubt
Seeking out the ways
In and out of there
But with the light
Comes your return
Cat-Boy, you burn
Sleeping through the days
Without e’en one care

Cat-Boy
You hate these baths
But you walk paths
That get you filthy
Don’t tell me
It didn’t get
On your skin
(You’re really thin!)
It got you filthy

Meow
Meow Meow
Meow Meow Meow Purr
Meow Meow Meow Purr
Cat-Boy

[Brandenfascher]

Page 305, "Sigrun"; Parody of "Gaston" (http://i.imgur.com/HKkNVQU.png)

-----------------------------

Sigrun: Who does he think he is? That boy has tangled with the wrong soldier! No civilian travels with Sigrun!

Emil: Uhh... right?

Sigrun: Inexperienced! Clumsy! Useless! Why, he's more than I can bear.

Emil: More carrots?

Sigrun: What for? That's dirt food. I'm finished.

Emil: Who, you? Never! Sigrun, you've got to pull yourself together.

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Sigrun
Getting all caught in a slump
Everyone here'd love to be you, Sigrun
Even when giving trolls lumps
There's no soldier out there as awesome as you
Your triumphs reach into the sky
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard; you'll see why

No one's rough like Sigrun
No one's tough like Sigrun
No one's blade's as incredibly sharp like Sigrun's
And no leader's got half as much courage
A troll's her worst enemy
You can ask anyone else more discouraged
And they'll tell you with whose squad they'd prefer to be

No one's been like Sigrun
A pot shot like Sigrun
No one's got a swell pointy-ish chin like Sigrun
Sigrun: As a leader, of course, I am hope inflating
Everyone: My- what a boss, that Sigrun

Give five salutes
Give twelve push-ups
Sigrun is most best
And the rest are a mess!

No one sleeps like Sigrun
Wakes up quite like Sigrun
In a staring match nobody scares like Sigrun
For there's no one who stares so intensely
Sigrun: See, my pupils are extr'ordinaire
Not a bit of her doesn't scare beasties
Sigrun: (That's right!)
But I use good judgement when I'm near troll lairs

No one drives like Sigrun
Wrecks a lot like Sigrun
No one cluelessly rams into things like Sigrun
Sigrun: I'm especially good at the navigating
(Crash!)
Everyone: ...again for Sigrun!

Sigrun: When I was a lass I ate 10 chicken legs
Ev'ry day so that I could stay fed
And now that I'm grown I eat 10 prime rib steaks
So I'd rarely be found starved up dead

No one talks like Sigrun
Judges not like Sigrun
Looks slightly down on others who read like Sigrun
Sigrun: I find reading a waste of time, plus it's so lame
Oh what a gal, Sigrun!

Say it again
Who's the best out of ten?
And then say it once more
Who will survive for sure?
Who's the always most best?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask her fans and her five soldier squad
There's just one gal in town who's got all of it down
And her name's S-I-G... R
S-I-G-R... U...
S-I-G-R-U - oh!
SIGRUN!!!

[Balthazar]

The burst of water
The suds seep into my eyes
Bird songs while I drown

-Haiku by Lalli on taking baths

[slim kittens]

page 305

Another one, courtesy of the Beatles

REYNIR FROM ICELAND

Ah, look at all the immune people
Ah, look at all the immune people

Reynir from Iceland
Longs for adventure all day while he watches the sheep
He has a dream
Look at him staring
Watching the shadows that tick off the hours of the day
Why does he stay?

All the immune people
Where do they all come from?
All the immune people
Why can't I go along?

Reynir from Iceland
Offers to work on a boat to the island for free
The captain agrees
Look at him peeling
Stuck below deck with potatoes, he's ready to scream
Where is my dream?

All the immune people
Where do they all come from?
All the immune people
Why can't I go along?

Ah, look at all the immune people
Ah, look at all the immune people

Reynir from Iceland
Watching the cans from the crate that he throws on the floor
Who were they for?
"I'm sure they won't miss them
They'll be so happy to see volunteers anyway
I'm sure it's okay"

All the immune people
Where do they all come from?
All the immune people
Why can't I go along?

[slim kittens]

page 305

Something NOT from the Beatles.
Courtesy of Ray Charles

HIT THE ROAD, BRAID

SIGRUN
Hit the road Braid and don't cha come back
No more no more no more no more
Hit the road Braid and don't cha come back
No more

REYNIR
What you say?

SIGRUN
Hit the road Braid and don't cha come back
No more no more no more no more
Hit the road Braid and don't cha come back
No more

REYNIR
Oh captain,  Oh captain, don't you treat me so mean
I've got talents that you haven't seen
Well I guess if you say so
I'll have to take my braid and go

SIGRUN
That's right!
Hit the road Braid and don't cha come back
No more no more no more no more
Hit the road Braid and don't cha come back
No more

REYNIR
What you say?

SIGRUN
Hit the road Braid and don't cha come back
No more no more no more no more
Hit the road Braid and don't cha come back
No more

REYNIR
Now captain, oh captain, don't you send me away
I'll be an asset to the team some day

SIGRUN
Don't care if you are, you abandoned food
If you stay around here you might end up stewed

REYNIR
Well I guess if you say so
I'll have to take my braid and go

SIGRUN
That's right!
Hit the road Braid and don't cha come back
No more no more no more no more
Hit the road Braid and don't cha come back
No more

REYNIR
What you say?

SIGRUN
That's right!
Hit the road Braid and don't cha come back
No more no more no more no more
Hit the road Braid and don't cha come back
No more

REYNIR
What you say?

SIGRUN
Don't cha come back no more

REYNIR
You can't mean that...

SIGRUN
Don't cha come back no more

REYNIR
I have abilities

SIGRUN
Don't cha come back no more

REYNIR
Do you have any sheep?

SIGRUN
Don't cha come back no more

REYNIR
Well, if you say so...

SIGRUN
Don't cha come back no more

REYNIR
I'll take my cats and go...

[silence]

SIGRUN
................cats?

[corncobman]

Your Back (based on Come Back by the Foo Fighters)

(Oh oh)
(Oh oh)
Pouring, again
Disgust on your face
Now and again
Sit still in that place

Cat on the inside, you've got nothing to do
Keep you sterile but don't you go hate me too
Good guy, this time
Cleaning you
You've been gone so long, so, gone so long
But I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
For you

Changes, changing
Back and forth again
Trading faces
Strangers in the end

Cat on the inside, you've got nothing to do
Keep you sterile, this washing I was forced to
Good guy, this time
Cleaning you
You've been gone so long, so, gone so long
But I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
For you
For you

I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
For you
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back
I'll wash your back

[Mélusine]

REYNIR
What you say?

SIGRUN
Don't cha come back no more

REYNIR
You can't mean that...

SIGRUN
Don't cha come back no more

REYNIR
I have abilities

SIGRUN
Don't cha come back no more

REYNIR
Do you have any sheep?

*Laugh alone*

[SugaAndSpice]

Barges song, for Reynir, because I have it stuck in my head.

"Cleansers"

Cleansers, I would like to go with you
I would like to fight the trolls with you
Cleansers, have you candles in your hold
Do you fight the trollsies brave and bold.

Out of my window, looking in the night
I can see the Cleansers every night
Silently board the boat into the wild
As I wish I wasnt a non-immune child.

Out of my window, looking in the night
I can see the Cleansers every night
Lanterns shining green and lanterns shining red
I can see them leave from in my bed.

Out of my window, looking in the night
I can see the Cleansers every night
Chugging sounds start, and engines start to roar
As the boats with cleansers leave our shore.

Out of my window looking in the night
I can see the Cleansers every night
Stars are brightly lighting up the sky
As the Cleansers seem to skip right by.

Out of my window, looking in the night
I can see the Cleansers every night
Taking the cleansers out away to sea
How I wish that some day they could take me.

How my heart longs to sail away with you
As you fight the trolls to make anew
But I must stay here, beside my window clear
As the Cleansers sail away from here.

Here it is, yay! Thank you looNEY_DAC. Might I ask where the username came from?

[LooNEY_DAC]

Here it is, yay! Thank you looNEY_DAC. Might I ask where the username came from?

https://ssssforum.com/index.php?topic=131.msg16711#msg16711