Author Topic: Prompt of the week!  (Read 47369 times)

thegreyarea

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1020 on: November 10, 2022, 08:34:39 AM »
Thanks everybody!

After reading your thoughts (I mean, not literarilly, it's not something the "Grey Area" would do... ;) ) on the matter, and rereading what I wrote, I'm quite sure that the first option is better, making for a more interesting, and fluid, reading.

And yes, Tehta, I see your point! I also spend a lot of time with my dialogue tags, trying to make them blend (seamlessly, or so I hope) with the text. :)

The "stories are good" was my way to say that even Lalli couldn't resist the charm of a good story, therefore it was strong enough to make him react and, as you said, jump into the conversation.

BTW I decided it was a good idea to revisit my previous stories featuring Ensi, and found they weren't on AO3, just on 2021's Advent Calendar.
And it happens that they are set on Winter, so they also fit on this week's prompt.  ^-^

So I did a quick review, because there's always a thing or two or many that we want to change when revisiting an older work, and posted it!
I also decided to post parts 1 and 2 together.
It's here: Awakening

This story is dedicated to our dear Jitter (Jiiri on AO3), that provided an awesome song/prayer in Finnish (and English)!
Also thanks to Wave, that helped with the proofreading, enduring my mistakes with courage!
As always any feedback is much appreciated!
« Last Edit: November 10, 2022, 11:19:18 AM by thegreyarea »
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tehta

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1021 on: November 10, 2022, 10:28:47 AM »
I don't think "stories are good" is OOC for Lalli, I just mean that this is the sort of utterance that might need a speech tag to get parsed smoothly. Since a character who has been on the sidelines, and hasn't just been addressed directly, might not be on the reader's mind as a potential speaker.
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thegreyarea

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1022 on: November 10, 2022, 11:18:58 AM »
I don't think "stories are good" is OOC for Lalli, I just mean that this is the sort of utterance that might need a speech tag to get parsed smoothly. Since a character who has been on the sidelines, and hasn't just been addressed directly, might not be on the reader's mind as a potential speaker.
And you are 100% right on that. That needed - needs - a touch, something like:

Lalli sits on the carpet, facing Ensi. "Stories are Good."

Or something else... And a few others. In the end it would be easier to "create the scenario" if we had something like:

Watching the burning logs, Ensi let her thoughts wander while the children found their places on the carpet. Their eyes, wide open, were now locked onto her.

I was just contemplating a story without speech tags, without a narrator. To make a compelling and understandable story that way would be an interesting challenge, I believe. Would I be up to the task? I'm not sure. It's clearly more comfortable to stick with the usual format, like I did on Awakening... But a part of me would love to find out if I'm able to pull that. :)
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Jitter

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1023 on: November 10, 2022, 03:29:17 PM »
As you may recall, I occasionally write very close to pure dialogue. In some cases it doesn’t necessarily even need to be clear who is talking. A couple of examples here:

https://ssssforum.com/index.php?topic=1144.135

However I think there’s a limit to the length of the story that works with no narration at all. At least it probably consists of only a handful of closely tied scenes. Also in case of your story it helps that the audience is very familiar with the characters and can probably decipher most of the lines based on speaking style. With a longer work this again becomes harder.
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wavewright62

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1024 on: November 12, 2022, 07:44:29 PM »
*looks at calendar* Mid-November, eh? drums in the deep...

Lately anything I write gets cross-posted to AO3 (even if I don't rate it very highly), and drawings gets cross-posted to tumblr & Discord.  But I haven't gone back to check whether I have any early works only on here.  (I'm told you can adjust the posting date.)  A 'maybe, someday' task?
However, seeing how great some of your'n pieces are, they totally deserve cross-posting!
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Jitter

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1025 on: November 15, 2022, 07:42:56 AM »
We need a prompt for this week. We had winter, shall we then say COLD?
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dmeck7755

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1026 on: November 15, 2022, 08:10:58 AM »
We need a prompt for this week. We had winter, shall we then say COLD?

Sure.   finally turned cold here.  (Saturday it was almost 80 (27) yesterday evening it was 33 (.5) )  Consider it is mid-November the second number is more normal for this time of the year
Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised, and we never know which one is which until we've loved them, left them, or fought them.

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angsttronaut

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1027 on: November 15, 2022, 11:08:18 AM »
It doesn't seem to be getting very cold here yet; it was really warm for November last week. Hopefully that changes when we go into December. Anyway, here's a depressing ficlet for the prompt.
Spoiler: show
Tuuri shuddered, breath falling out of her mouth in gasps of steam. She had forgotten how cold the night air was without a mask. The cold dug through her clothes, stole the sensation from her bare fingers. Water soaked through a hole in her boots to gnaw at her toes. The only warm part of her was the Rash patch.

Her hands reached up to it, the diseased skin stinging. She looked up. The salty, icy wind forced her to squint. It smelled as if it would snow later. “I really thought… that it wouldn’t happen,” she said to the churning waters, to the desperate, dark voices. She scrunched up her stiff fingers.

“That…” Her voice slipped out of her control, wobbling. “...Someone over there would be looking out for me.”

The wind failed. The sky arched inky blue over her head, with one red star. No, wait. The star swooped downwards on vast wings. A swan. The Swan. Her heart pumped like it was trying to make up for an entire lifetime it wouldn't have, but her head was clear. I’m sorry, Lalli. I’m sorry, Onni. I’m sorry, everyone. And she took her first step into the water.

dmeck7755

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1028 on: November 15, 2022, 12:19:35 PM »
Also Onni's birthday is Nov 19, so maybe next week's in Onni?
Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised, and we never know which one is which until we've loved them, left them, or fought them.

~ Gregory David Roberts

dmeck7755

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1029 on: November 15, 2022, 12:21:45 PM »
angsttronaut,
Coldness all around for that.  Thank you. 
Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised, and we never know which one is which until we've loved them, left them, or fought them.

~ Gregory David Roberts

thegreyarea

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1030 on: November 15, 2022, 01:53:38 PM »
angsttronaut, that's one very very cold story... Well done.

And that's one nice prompt because I haven't finished my "Winter" story, but it also has lots of "Cold", so I'm fine!  ^-^

(BTW we're also not getting very cold on this side of the Iberian peninsula. It's 16 ºC (aprox, 61 ºF, or 289.15 ºK ;)  )
Simple, Summer shirts (or T-shirts) and a light jacket have been, so far, enough for this Autumn...
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Jitter

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1031 on: November 20, 2022, 10:24:27 AM »
Here’s something Cold. We just got the first snow here in the Helsinki area.



Special forms in nature, like a spruce with very flat branches were often considered significant, conduits to the spirits or places of power. This spruce near us is not a full on “Tapio’s Table” because it also has some upwards growth, but it’s interesting. A Tapio’s Table is a spontaneous mutation sometimes occurring in the common “forest spruce” (Picea abies, Norwegian spruce) that results in the branches growing horizontal and thick. We had one in my previous garden, but that was a planted specimen, this one is natural.

Hunters used to leave offerings for Tapio by placing parts of the catch on a Tapio’s Table (I’m sure there were other options too because there aren’t any everywhere) to thank for the game and ensure or at last ask for hunting luck in the future too.

Same one without the snow:

Spoiler: show





« Last Edit: November 21, 2022, 12:51:37 AM by Jitter »
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dmeck7755

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1032 on: November 20, 2022, 09:11:04 PM »
here is my cold take.  (Warning it depicts abuse and violence.  I tried not to detail it.   )
https://archiveofourown.org/works/36794107/chapters/108541551

Jitter, I love the photos.  We has a little bit of snow here last week, but it had melted by noon :(
Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised, and we never know which one is which until we've loved them, left them, or fought them.

~ Gregory David Roberts

Róisín

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1033 on: November 21, 2022, 01:54:12 AM »
Jitter, that is beautiful! And I’m delighted that your folk also have the usage of leaving a portion of hunted or foraged food for the gods or landspirits. Here there is an old lady marngit who is a traditional weaver, and when she collects the sedges used for her art she always leaves a tiny woven basket with a gift of food for the earth-things. Where I lived in East Gippsland the Kurnai folk used to leave a hunter’s portion of game or fish on one of the rock ledges where the greenhood orchids grew, for the same reason.
« Last Edit: November 21, 2022, 09:48:46 AM by Róisín »
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Jitter

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1034 on: November 21, 2022, 03:51:30 AM »
I think it is a common theme, also putting out the first bread or porridge made of the new crop etc.

This week is dedicated to Onni, whose birthday last Saturday I unfortunately missed. I’m sorry Onni! Let’s hope someone gives you a wonderful birthday party to disapprove of.

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