Author Topic: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings  (Read 18811 times)

Opaque

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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #105 on: May 21, 2021, 03:40:09 PM »
Yeah, apparently a lot of people are getting anxious about "normal". Things like going back to the office or social gatherings seems to be completely foreign to folks now. It may take a bit to remember how to normal but it's just like riding a bike... or not. Riding a bike is easier.

catbirds

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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #106 on: May 22, 2021, 10:33:45 AM »
It's nice that at the very least, those of you in the US have the choice to get the shot. The CDC might have made it suddenly possible to go about without wearing a mask, but at least those who want a vaccine have been able to get it (at no cost?). No substitute for just doing all the social distancing and other measures you're supposed to do, but I hope it's comforting to know you CAN get immunity if you wish. Of course, we also run into trouble getting herd immunity quickly enough, and distributing vaccines quickly enough.

I'm aware that there's a pretty small number of people who are vocally or physically violent if they see you wearing a mask. I've encountered a few, it's a very stressful experience but at least most people will put on a mask when they are asked! I work at a store, it's just a new thing that I've had to start telling people to do.

Yeah, apparently a lot of people are getting anxious about "normal". Things like going back to the office or social gatherings seems to be completely foreign to folks now. It may take a bit to remember how to normal but it's just like riding a bike... or not. Riding a bike is easier.

Hmmmm… yeah, it's definitely too soon. Highly infectious respiratory disease? Not really something that you can stop caring about quickly. In my province (Ontario), we had a brief period last summer where things were going back to "normal" because the numbers dipped below a certain amount, I can't remember, but then it got worse! At least in my city, there has been a strain on hospitals for some time. Now people walk around outside like it's any other day, which isn't a great idea!

There was also talk of how our definition of "normal" has never been "normal" for those with disabilities. It gave me a lot to think about this past year.

thorny

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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #107 on: May 22, 2021, 10:53:23 AM »
It's nice that at the very least, those of you in the US have the choice to get the shot. The CDC might have made it suddenly possible to go about without wearing a mask, but at least those who want a vaccine have been able to get it (at no cost?).

We're a lot better off in that way than those in a lot of places in the world (and yes, the government's paying for the vaccine, the people getting it don't have to); but I gather that in some areas it's still hard to get a shot, as appointments may not be available anywhere that some people can get to without considerable difficulty. And it's not allowed for anyone under 12 yet, and 12 - 16 year olds were only approved quite recently and only for the two-shot Pfizer so few if any of them are fully vaccinated yet. So there are quite a lot of people still not vaccinated who aren't vaccine refusers.

Opaque

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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #108 on: May 22, 2021, 05:51:56 PM »
I agree that it's way too soon for people to start easing up the social distancing and mask wearing. My family is fully vaccinated and we're still being careful around others but there's only so much we can do when everyone else have thrown caution to the wind.

Tarnagh

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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #109 on: May 22, 2021, 08:36:13 PM »
I agree that it's way too soon for people to start easing up the social distancing and mask wearing. My family is fully vaccinated and we're still being careful around others but there's only so much we can do when everyone else have thrown caution to the wind.
I've been thinking a lot about this lately. I was two weeks past my second shot as of this past Wednesday so technically I could go out without a mask now. I don't think I will. This last year has been the first year I can remember where I wasn't sick once and as an added bonus I didn't have a single creep tell me I should smile for them. I'm very seriously considering just continuing to wear a mask in public indefinitely.
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Róisín

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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #110 on: May 23, 2021, 01:29:15 AM »
People who tell you to smile for them?!? How very unmannerly of them. Unless you are an actor doing a part where smiling is required, nobody is entitled to do that! I find those who do so  ignorant and annoying.

If anyone does that to me when I am not feeling happy I give them a twisted teeth-revealing grin and a Look. Since I am an older woman with wrinkles and scars, that can look fairly scary. It seldom happens to me, since my natural temperament is cheerful, optimistic and stubborn. And it is also nice not to be breathing in everyone’s flu and cold.
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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #111 on: May 23, 2021, 03:48:04 AM »
I've seen that thing about being asked to smile on my twitter feed, as well. Never experienced it myself, but definitely see how it could be annoying. Actually, the channel I'm using to educate myself was just recently doing a thing about how patronizing it is to tell other people how to feel (it was specifically about representation, but it can apply to plenty of other situations). I think I may continue wearing masks on colder days because my sinuses react quite badly to being taken outside when it's cold and I noticed masks can trick them into thinking it's warmer out than it actually is for ten to twenty extra minutes without also tricking them into thinking I just entered a sauna that smells suspiciously like my own neck.
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Sc0ut

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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #112 on: May 23, 2021, 04:19:26 AM »
I've been thinking a lot about this lately. I was two weeks past my second shot as of this past Wednesday so technically I could go out without a mask now. I don't think I will. This last year has been the first year I can remember where I wasn't sick once and as an added bonus I didn't have a single creep tell me I should smile for them. I'm very seriously considering just continuing to wear a mask in public indefinitely.

I'm also hopeful about the idea that at least occasional mask wearing in public will now be normalised in places where it wasn't before. I'm certainly keeping my mask on at the gym despite being fully vaccinated, for instance. Health aside, I also enjoy the face-censoring it brings. People often misinterpret my neutral face as showing negative emotions and I welcome the break from that. At least with a mask on they stop assuming :) 

Also, as someone who never was into expressing myself through my clothes, I enjoy people's reactions to the varied masks I wear. I have one with the drawing of a lower part of the skull, and people are equally divided in thinking it's cool and creepy. I also have one that I embroidered myself with birds, and they tend to like that. I want to make more, it can be a fun and low effort way to communicate a bit about myself or even my mood on that day. Since my face is not very expressive by default (or when it does say things it doesn't say the things I want it to), it's great to suddenly have more control over this.
« Last Edit: May 23, 2021, 04:24:25 AM by Sc0ut »

Róisín

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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #113 on: May 23, 2021, 06:59:47 AM »
Sounds like a good approach, Sc0ut. Several of the teenagers I know have been amusing themselves by embroidering their masks with everything from lovehearts to flowers to cartoon characters, which gives them something to do plus a bit of artistic expression and fun. One of them is working on a dragonfly mask and I look forward to the result, since she is already a good enough artist to be selling her embroidery, paintings and felt sculptures and seems to be getting even better with practice. So good to see people making things like this!
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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #114 on: May 23, 2021, 08:27:06 AM »
Another one here happy to keep wearing a mask! I didn't get any colds all winter; that may also have to do with not being around people much in general, but that's actually all the more reason to wear a mask when I get back to face-to-face teaching and meetings.

Teaching in a mask will be strange, though. To deal with that, and to reduce traffic on campus, I'm going to do at least one remote lecture per week (out of three), and the rest more problem-solving or discussion oriented rather than lecturing. I think standing in front of the class trying to lecture through a mask for 50 minutes will be exhausting! Means I have to spend some time over the summer making short videos and organizing some readings, but it'll be worth it to reduce the time spent trying to communicate through a piece of fabric.

I got some fabric with very realistic bees on it to make masks - I do bee research. Masks are such a great opportunity for some self-expression. A colleague who works on fish has some nice fish-themed masks, which partly inspired me to go looking for insect-themed fabric.

I've never had a stranger tell me to smile, that I remember. What a strange thing to tell someone! My older sister once commanded me to laugh during a movie, but... well, older sister. Enough said.  :))
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thorny

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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #115 on: May 23, 2021, 09:47:57 AM »
I've never had a stranger tell me to smile, that I remember. What a strange thing to tell someone!

Vulpes, do you appear male? It's a thing mostly done to women. Men are generally allowed to look serious without anybody commenting on it.

catbirds

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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #116 on: May 23, 2021, 09:49:32 AM »
:) I was also very happy to wear a mask all winter because it helps keep your face a bit warmer than it would be otherwise! It's kind of like wearing a scarf covering your face, but less uncomfortable. It was also good for preventing disease of course, especially if you live and work in a crowded place like me. I actually decided to wear two! One fabric and one of the blue masks, they fit very snugly over my face.

I hope that I can find some neat patterns to make a thinner mask with! I don't really have any at the moment, but I guess now that I'm on vacation it shouldn't be too hard to do some very simple embroidery myself.

Teaching in a mask will be strange, though. To deal with that, and to reduce traffic on campus, I'm going to do at least one remote lecture per week (out of three), and the rest more problem-solving or discussion oriented rather than lecturing. I think standing in front of the class trying to lecture through a mask for 50 minutes will be exhausting! Means I have to spend some time over the summer making short videos and organizing some readings, but it'll be worth it to reduce the time spent trying to communicate through a piece of fabric.
[...]
I've never had a stranger tell me to smile, that I remember. What a strange thing to tell someone! My older sister once commanded me to laugh during a movie, but... well, older sister. Enough said.  :))

Yeah, one of the troubles with wearing a mask is that it's hard to tell when people are talking, and to whom. I hope you're ready to speak rather loudly! Your voice does get somewhat muffled if you wear too thick a mask. But aside from that, the usual cues for someone talking to you (lips moving, sound, eye contact) are now much harder to detect.

I'm excited to go back to in-school learning at least once a week or so. It feels like I'm finally becoming a real university student? But here's a cursed thought, I actually liked online learning better because I didn't have to figure out how to act, how to sit, how to talk, etc etc in a "professional" setting. If I wear a cute mask next year, at least then I can keep the awkward business smiles out of the way. Most of my friends are absolutely done with online learning, though! They want no more of it.

As for being told to smile, I have heard that people who look like girls/more feminine are often told to do that, though I never tried to look presentable so I guess I managed to avoid that. Social expectations or whatever :( Tarnagh, I'm not sure what you present as IRL so sorry if I'm assuming too much. (Edit: also as thorny said)

(I also have an older sister, I kind of miss the intense bitterness and hatred we held for each other in our childhood :P)

Songbird

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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #117 on: May 23, 2021, 10:31:28 AM »
I'm one of the unlucky ones stuck in a place with slow going vaccination. Might only be able to get my first shot in August if I recall it correctly.

As for being told to smile, I have heard that people who look like girls/more feminine are often told to do that, though I never tried to look presentable so I guess I managed to avoid that. Social expectations or whatever :( Tarnagh, I'm not sure what you present as IRL so sorry if I'm assuming too much. (Edit: also as thorny said)

When you look like the archetype of young female fragility then acquaintances and strangers alike might not hesitate to state what you're supposed to be doing a given moment, smiling included. It's prevalent, grating and exhausting. It's like they see "harmless looking" and think "easy to push around".

Tarnagh

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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #118 on: May 23, 2021, 04:10:37 PM »
As for being told to smile, I have heard that people who look like girls/more feminine are often told to do that, though I never tried to look presentable so I guess I managed to avoid that. Social expectations or whatever :( Tarnagh, I'm not sure what you present as IRL so sorry if I'm assuming too much. (Edit: also as thorny said)
I have what the internet calls "Resting b**** Face," and during the before-times I was constantly having men tell me I'd be prettier if I smiled, or asking me to smile for them, or several variations on the theme of adjusting my appearance to please them.

I would be best described as "fat, middle-aged housewife." I'm definitely not what anyone might consider dainty, cute, or helpless. Just female.  :-\

Male cashiers would tell me to smile for them rather often and it's ... grating. And creepy.
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Re: Covid 19 - Thoughts and feelings
« Reply #119 on: May 23, 2021, 05:49:17 PM »
How dare this female exist without doing her utmost to decorate the environment for ME!

Many of them even view it as if it’s a positive thing to say. Either because hey compliment, I would like your appearance if you put in more effort, and obviously your life would be more fulfilling if I did. Or hey, I offered you some friendly advice, and obviously it’s important too as it comes from ME. You female person (or almost person) should certainly be grateful for someone of my standing deigning to advise you!

I wish I was exaggerating but no. It hasn’t been very common on me either, but I think that’s just good luck. I have been gifted with my share of gropes and suggestions, although blessedly rarely these days, in my present form of a fat middle-aged professional mother of two. (And! This isn’t even my final form!)

Sorry for having taken the discussion out to such a distance that the actual topic hardly be seen on the horizon. But I think it’s always an important moment, when a male-presenting person suddenly understands some of what it’s too often like for the rest of us.
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