Grade your cats here!

[Róisín]

My cousin and his family had one of those Doofus cats, which was very strange because his littersib was very bright indeed, and used to come up with strategies by which the pair of them could hunt birds and occasionally hunt dogs. The Doofus one was dim enough that while he had figured out that the humans would let you out if you wailed, he had never quite mastered the concept of ‘door’. So he would go to a random spot on the wall and wail until a human picked him up, took him to a door and put him outside.

Wavewright, thank you so much for finding and putting up those photos of Gil and Agatha (yes, husband is a Girl Genius fan). Gil is the big smooth ginger, Agatha the much smaller fluffy ginger. They are littersibs. Rescued from a person whom I would not have trusted with a cardboard cutout of a cat, little say a live one.


Edit: yes, those two are Gil and Agatha, sunning themselves on a haybale in the driveway with the Pioneer peach tree and my neighbour’s house in the background. My neighbour loves the cats, because he is a manufacturer of dried fruit, and has a number of big solar dryers on his property. He also has big compost bins for all the peels, cores and other detritus of his work. The cats make it part of their daily duties to patrol his bins and the ground below his dryers for any intruding rodents, and to kill any they find. Since we live in a farming area, with sheep, poultry, cattle and alpacas within a short walk, and the woolstore just down the road, we get lots of rodents, so the cats are useful.

Vulpes, the collar is funny . Nice cat.

Noodles and Windy, those are nice cats!

[Windfighter]

So it's not an official Grade C-collar (I don't think there is one) but still:


I have materials so I might attempt to make a Grade B-collar sometime

[Gwenno]

Oh my goodness, this is the best thread ever!!!!! I love everybody's cats so much   

We have two blessed felines in our house, Pws and Barti:


Pws is slightly older, and the more dignified of the two. He is less prone to being scared by inconsequential things and is capable of both catching vermin and defending his house. Requires a very long recharge time, however, and sleeps 20+ hours a day. Grade B


Barti is very friendly and demands his daily cuddle quota very louly  :'D It seems he is, unfortunately, extremely stupid and probably wouldn't do a good job alerting us of trolls of vermin beasts, alas! Grade C (for cutie!)

My cousin and his family had one of those Doofus cats, which was very strange because his littersib was very bright indeed, and used to come up with strategies by which the pair of them could hunt birds and occasionally hunt dogs. The Doofus one was dim enough that while he had figured out that the humans would let you out if you wailed, he had never quite mastered the concept of ‘door’. So he would go to a random spot on the wall and wail until a human picked him up, took him to a door and put him outside.

Oh no! Poor silly Doofus cat. That is hilarious 

So it's not an official Grade C-collar (I don't think there is one) but still:


I have materials so I might attempt to make a Grade B-collar sometime

What magic is this :O You must have some phenomenal cat powers to keep that collar on long enough to take a photo! Truly, you were destined to be a cat trainer in the post-rash world!

[Vulpes]

Aaah, another black cat! Non-black cats are also lovely, but I do adore nearly-all-black ones.

Roísín, your random wall-wailing cat is hilarious - doofus indeed.

Windy, I don't know how you got a collar on that cat and got a picture of it sitting nicely. You are a cat-whisperer! If I put something on my tortie, she would go ballistic. When she was spayed, the vet insisted on an Elizabethan collar to prevent stitch-worrying. At home, once the anaesthetic fully wore off, she woke up and turned into a whirling dervish (must've been painful, post-op) in among the dining chair legs, using them to help rip the collar free. Then she vanished under a bed for an extended sulk. Total waste of a "cone of shame"... and the $5 or whatever they charged for the stupid thing.

[Purple Wyrm]

Loving this thread! I have no felines of my own due to allergies - I would be toast come the rash!

The Doofus one was dim enough that while he had figured out that the humans would let you out if you wailed, he had never quite mastered the concept of ‘door’. So he would go to a random spot on the wall and wail until a human picked him up, took him to a door and put him outside.

  :'D :'D

harkrankar (which I still don't know the english name for but I agree that they're dangerous)

Crane flies I believe

[Temteno]

I get to tell about our adorable cats finally! I didn't use too much time with them as a kid since I lived in a farm and the cats were half of the time outside. Just open the door and let the cat in or out. However, I got in the 10 years a pretty good grasp of how their personalities were.

We took all of our cats from "Kissaystävät (Cat friends)" organization. Shortly, they saved cats that were abandoned, abused or the owners couldn't keep them for some other reason. For that reason two of the cats were quite...quirky at the start due to their not-so happy backgrounds.

VEERA



Veera was very scared of humans when we took her in and she wouldn't get out from under the bed unless she couldn't see anyone. It took maybe 2-3 months for her to get used to us but after that she was a total sweet-heart She loved to get scratching and everybody's attention - every time we had a visitor, she captivated their heart. Out all of our cats she was the most human-loving in the end.
However, she would've still been Grade C cat. She hunted and tried to display us her findings and discovered how to open doors (alongside the other cats). But due to her loving nature she would be totally distracted in her job. Her quirks like eating hair and licking people's faces when they are asleep wouldn't be too liked either. Luckily she got out of the worst habits like eating cat food by jumping into the sack and drinking from the toilet

Unfortunately she has passed away many years ago but Veera enjoys the endless amount of scratches, mouses and birds in afterlife!

MISKA



Almost total opposite of Veera: cats are by nature aloof but he was the least after human affection. Miska's former owner was very loving but just couldn't keep him so he has always been well-behaving. However, he would do trips where he went off for 2 weeks and then came back like nothing happened. He could never be seen but somehow he always managed to come in time for food. For these reasons I would give him Grade A. Miska would've been a great scout cat, though now days he is too old for that. The 13-years old cat just lays around the house and enjoys the attention that he gets from my sister.

KÖLLI PESONEN



Shortly called as Kölli. He had very interesting backstory: Kölli had been a street cat that was taken by someone in Kissaystävät who lived in an apartment. However, he was such a big and fat cat that he needed farm life to bring him back into shape - so we took him in. The cat didn't almost fit into the cat transport compartment and he couldn't even run. With time though he was like any other huge cat and enjoyed the farm life to his fullest.

Kölli was notorious for hunting rats and things that were bigger what cats normally hunt. No wonder though, he was a size of a small dog. He even scared the heck out of our visitors' dog that had chased Veera under a porch. He was a cat with attitude and knew what he wanted - he tried always eat others' food.
He was an excellent hunter but otherwise lacked in the personality department. For that reason I would give him Grade B.

Kölli has also passed away but both he and Veera had fulfilling and peaceful life - and the same continues somewhere else.

[Windfighter]

I'm not sure about being a cat-whisperer, I just got my cats used to my antics from when they were young. Had to train them since I want to put them on leash if I ever let them outside
(I don't let them outside much though since it's very stressful for them and very painful for me x,x Tiger especially can't decide if he wants to be on the ground or on my shoulders so he keeps scratching me while trying to make up his mind)

And hey, if the collar is amazing, check this out!


Tiger didn't quite go ballistic when he had to wear a cone of shame after getting neutered, but he didn't like it and constantly broke free from it when I wasn't looking so I let him skip it.
(I put it on Truls instead just so she could experience the hell her brother went through. She did NOT approve xD)

Crane flies I believe

Ah yes. I look that up every now and then but then I forget it just as quickly ops :$

Temteno, those are some very good cats!

Have a comfy boi who was dreaming about being a grade A-cat but then I woke him up:

[Vulpes]

Well bollocks, I must've neglected to hit "Post" when I replied earlier today. Believe me, it was a brillant comment.

Temteno, it makes me so happy to see all those rescue cats. Ours came from the SPCA, and if I could I'd adopt every one - it's always full to bursting with lost or abandoned cats. But we live in a rather small cabin, and two cats are enough, especially as they're still fairly young and energetic.

Windy, you must have a very high pain tolerance... 

[Temteno]

Temteno, it makes me so happy to see all those rescue cats. Ours came from the SPCA, and if I could I'd adopt every one - it's always full to bursting with lost or abandoned cats. But we live in a rather small cabin, and two cats are enough, especially as they're still fairly young and energetic.

That's so great to hear about your cats, I get also very happy when I hear that people have taken in rescue cats! I would like to get a rescue cat in future again. They can be very problematic and if you get a cat that is already 2-3 years old, it's hard to get the bad habits out. But I think it is worth of all the work if it gives some lost cat a home

[Vulpes]

I dug up photos of some of my earlier cats, and decided to grade the whole bunch.

Borys was definitely Grade A. He looked after his humans well!


His sister Ollie was more of a Grade B - she was a terrific hunter, but didn't give a rat's @ss about anyone. Would totally save her own hide rather than protect her humans.


Another sister, Tova, was Grade C. She was sweet and friendly, but an indifferent hunter. I have way more photos of her than the others, she loved posing for photos.


They were joined by Elvira, who never quite got on with the others. Grade C, no question. Neurotic, hated going outdoors, preferred people to other cats. The photo is not staged, I found her in the bed like that.


One of our current cats we got as 3/4 grown kitten, along with her brother. They had been in the SPCA for something like four months. When we got them they were called Leslie and Lily, we promptly re-named them MacAllister and ::cough::Minna::cough:: I've already graded Minna as B; MacAllister was showing signs of following in Borys' footsteps and being a bossy Grade A.

catMinna really is named after cartoonistMinna, but only because I came across an interview with cartoonistMinna in which she described herself as "nervous, calculating, self-centered". That seemed to fit the cat (day 1 in our house was spent mostly under the sofa) and was better than my sig other's suggestion: "Are you going to name her after some troll or something in that webcomic you go on about?" I can just imagine trying to explain to friends why my cat is called... um, say, "Toothscary".


Sadly, MacAllister developed Feline Infectious Peritonitis and died only five months after we got him. FIP, despite its name, isn't terribly infectious, so after some months it was clear that Minna was (a) uninfected and (b) really bored being an only cat. We went back to the SPCA looking for a neutered male cat over 1 year old - fully developed immune system, just in case, and male so they'd be more likely to get along. And there was a big black laid back cat who obviously had been someone's house pet, absolutely perfect. They were calling him Salem, we renamed him Denbigh for some bizarre reason. He has good hunting instincts, but is a bit of a klutzy goof, thus the C grade I gave him.


Okay, enough kitty pictures, Vulpes, stop clogging the thread...

[tacita]

This is my cat, Hobbes.

He's terrified of strangers and takes days to stop fleeing from people he doesn't know, like my grandma. He's also scared of loud noises and the smallest glimpse of our neighbors. I doubt he could possibly work up the courage to work around trolls. Grade D.
Even if he hadn't grown up to be so cowardly, he's very needy (he cries for me to pet him when he eats, for example) and would absolutely get addicted to treats during training. This little softy would be a Grade B in that case.

[Yastreb]

The cats I've shared my life with... basically just two really.

One was Horgor, named for a vicious war-beast in a role-playing game. She was three months old, a coal-black kitten with just a small white v-marking on her chest. She was fairly affectionate and good company generally, but we had to move a year later, and find her a new home. Here are some highlights from that year.

* Before she was a year old, she had killed seven mice, three birds and one lizard, confirmed. Names have power.
* Once she went missing for a week. We'd given up our search when suddenly we heard her yowling as she climbed in through the window and went to her food bowl, giving a reproachful look when we found that it was empty.
* She once nipped a sleeping house guest. That's not the bad part. The bad part was where she nipped him. Let's just say that she nipped in what a man would regard as the worst spot to be nipped, and leave it at that.

My second cat was Dejah. She came into my life in a roundabout way, and there's a role-playing game connection for her as well. One day I was running a game of Earthdawn at a friend's place, and noticed that the players were being distracted by something behind me (I had my back to the window). So I turned around and saw a cat on the sill, which jumped down almost at once. Several times during the evening the same thing happened, prompting my friend to say "Deja vu!" (he's a fan of The Matrix).

Next day an email arrived with a photograph of a tuxedo cat whose tail was carried forward, with the tip over her shoulders. The cat had returned. They had a dog; under the circumstances, would I like a cat? So I said yes right away. She turned out to be about four months old, spayed, and most likely a discarded Christmas present.

Dejah stayed with me for fourteen years. She was aloof, showing affection in a distant manner. If I returned late in the day, she would run down the driveway giving a rather peevish yowl... "What kept you?" and then run back down again to wait by the food bowl. She wasn't one-tenth as lethal as Horgor, claiming only three mice, three butterflies (!) and one spider confirmed in that time. With one of the mice, she did a less than welcome thing; I came back from a Steampunk LARP to find as I was unpacking that she'd left the kill in the living room and it had started to pong a little. I was peeved enough to show my displeasure by firing a shot from my Maverick Nerf revolver into the floor next to her... and for months after it, the rattle of plastic was enough to make her flee the room.

[Vulpes]

Tacita, that is a lovely cat, and a great name for him. Grade B or D, he's gorgeous.

Yastreb, Horgor sounds like an A grade cat, despite the... uh... unfortunate human-biting. Dejah must have wondered why you were so unappreciative of her offering.

My grade B cat has been showing off her skills - the other day a young chipmunk wandered across the deck, practically over our feet as we ate our lunch, and then brilliantly passed close by the "catio"... BAM! Minna (the cat, obviously) hooked it through the wire mesh, killing it instantly. Denbigh is trying very hard to emulate her, but he hasn't the patience and lunges too soon. He did have a shrew the other day, which I assume he caught himself, so maybe he's learning.

[Mirasol]

I am very much enjoying all those Kitty-pictures and -stories.

Sadly, the only blessed felines I live with are stuffed animals... like the one you´re about to see (her name is Mimmi according to the label on her chest, and since I failed to come up with a better name, it still is, she resides on my couch. Very lazy cat, hasn´t really moved spots at all for about two years. In fact, only ever moves when I have to clean said couch. Grade D or lower.)

Ok but all jokes aside, I´m of course not posting here (just) to show off my fake cat. I´m posting because Vulpes asked for a SSSS-Kitty-collar, and I have made one (not owning a cat can´t stop me!), but since there were no actual kitties available, I have gotten my most closely kitty-sized-and-proportioned-stuffed-cat to model it for me instead. May I present, Mimmi, Grade B-cat-edition:

Spoiler: some more pictures • show

References I used include the entirety of Adventure 2, chapter 9.
Not as authentic as it could be, since thanks to that lovely pandemic out there I couldn´t go to buy good materials. I had to make due with what I had lying around, which is mainly old felt, leftover edging from the fabric we used to sew facemasks and one of these strings that are in new shirts to make sure they stay on the coat hangers. (These are actually really nice to work with, so would recommend.) To sort of make up for that, I decided to stitch everything. Now the thing would probably be sturdy enough to survive being worn by an actual, live cat that does not exist in my surroundings. (This is by no means a necessary step, I´m sure glue would get the exact same result, I just decided to make myself suffer. Why yes, there was something rather unpleasant and definitly more important I was actually supposed to be doing on that afternoon when I made this, what gave it away?)
I have so far not added some sort of closure for the collar in the front, since no frame I found had one, and now I´m seriously wondering how Kitty hasn´t lost hers yet. Maybe her fur is just so long that it hides it. I might add one later...

[Vulpes]

I am very much enjoying all those Kitty-pictures and -stories.

Sadly, the only blessed felines I live with are stuffed animals... like the one you´re about to see (her name is Mimmi according to the label on her chest, and since I failed to come up with a better name, it still is, she resides on my couch. Very lazy cat, hasn´t really moved spots at all for about two years. In fact, only ever moves when I have to clean said couch. Grade D or lower.)

Ok but all jokes aside, I´m of course not posting here (just) to show off my fake cat. I´m posting because Vulpes asked for a SSSS-Kitty-collar, and I have made one (not owning a cat can´t stop me!), but since there were no actual kitties available, I have gotten my most closely kitty-sized-and-proportioned-stuffed-cat to model it for me instead. May I present, Mimmi, Grade B-cat-edition:

Spoiler: some more pictures • show

References I used include the entirety of Adventure 2, chapter 9.
Not as authentic as it could be, since thanks to that lovely pandemic out there I couldn´t go to buy good materials. I had to make due with what I had lying around, which is mainly old felt, leftover edging from the fabric we used to sew facemasks and one of these strings that are in new shirts to make sure they stay on the coat hangers. (These are actually really nice to work with, so would recommend.) To sort of make up for that, I decided to stitch everything. Now the thing would probably be sturdy enough to survive being worn by an actual, live cat that does not exist in my surroundings. (This is by no means a necessary step, I´m sure glue would get the exact same result, I just decided to make myself suffer. Why yes, there was something rather unpleasant and definitly more important I was actually supposed to be doing on that afternoon when I made this, what gave it away?)
I have so far not added some sort of closure for the collar in the front, since no frame I found had one, and now I´m seriously wondering how Kitty hasn´t lost hers yet. Maybe her fur is just so long that it hides it. I might add one later...

Aaaaah, brilliant! The most best way to procrastinate! It's lovely. And I have no idea how those are meant to stay on, either. The way they plopped the collar on Kitty when she graduated suggested magnets.