Author Topic: Grade your cats here!  (Read 10282 times)

Vulpes

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Grade your cats here!
« on: December 12, 2019, 08:11:22 PM »
I was going to resurrect the pets thread, but decided to start anew - what grade of cat do you have?

This is my Grade B Cat, Tuna Tin Label Edition.



I know you are a crafty lot, surely someone has made a SSSS Official Graded Cat Collar (rather than sticking a tuna tin label on their outraged cat, who just wanted the darned tuna juice). Let's see them!
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RanVor

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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2019, 08:57:19 PM »
What a splendid grade B cat you have!

I haven't put my cat through any official grading procedure, but I'm pretty sure he's grade D at best. I don't have his photo right now, but I'll post one as soon as it's available (which may take some time as I'm not going to be home until next weekend).

wavewright62

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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2019, 09:56:14 PM »
Too good to pass up - Fred claiming B-Grade status on sheer erudition alone.  (Recycling from a 'cat pictures on Shakespeare quotes' thread)
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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2019, 10:59:38 PM »
My cat is definitely Grade D, being both old and about as intelligent as a sack of hammers.
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Róisín

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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2019, 02:09:25 AM »
Three cats I have owned in the past, Greycat, Sandy and Old Spook, would have made Grade A, especially Greycat, who appointed herself guardian and protector of the two family members who most needed that, and would come and alert me if something was wrong with them. Of the cats with whom I currently share my home, Agatha is a definite grade A, Gil might make BMinus. He means well, but he is not as bright as his sister, and is a big enthusiastic boofhead who doesn’t understand that some humans are frail and should not be climbed. Both are quite good at giving warning of snakes and other dangers.

Lucy, a tiny black cat I found as a kitten, was given to riding in coat pockets, got on reasonably with my green tree snake, and was a ferocious slayer of cockroaches.

Smoke, whom I inherited after her human died, was very civilised and had been a bookshop cat for years. When I inherited her she came with very young kittens, so I took her to stay at my family home until the kittens were weaned, since at the time I was working out of the city for several days at a time. As soon as that happened, she left the kittens and disappeared. I found her a few weeks later back at the bookshop, at least thirty miles away. My family would joyfully have adopted her, and had adopted her kittens, but nothing would persuade her to stay. I retrieved her from the bookshop several more times before she disappeared for good. Top points for loyalty, not for sense.
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wavewright62

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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2019, 03:23:46 AM »
Róisín's cats, from the files:

I know this one's Agatha


I think these are Gil & Agatha?
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Windfighter

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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2019, 10:29:22 AM »
grade my cats you say? Hmm okay let's see...


Inga, Grade B (B for Bastard)
Constantly Up To Something, but also the only one of my cats who have managed to catch a BUMBLEBEE! Would probably be the most useful one to have around in case of The Rash


Björn, Grade C (C for Coward)
Runs away at the slightest imaginary danger. Dangers includes: His own shadow, me walking too quickly, dogs, people, flowers, harkrankar (which I still don't know the english name for but I agree that they're dangerous), someone opening the door, mail. Completely useless in case of the rash, but will at least provide entertainment.


Truls, Grade B (B for Bark)
Not a very good hunter but has gotten a little better probably thanks to Inga showing her. Does the kitty-bark when she spots birds outside. Let out a REALLY LOUD meow once to warn me about a huge spider in the kitchen. Jury is still uncertain if she'd be useful when the Rash hits.


Tiger, Grade C (C for Cuddler)
My most cuddly cat, loves to flop down in my lap, especially when I'm busy writing. Not much of a hunter, but will watch as Inga tries and fails to catch a silverfish (and then promptly eat it when she gets bored). Will provide warmth when the heat goes out, but won't help at keeping rash vermins at bay.
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Vulpes

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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2019, 12:16:57 PM »
Too good to pass up - Fred claiming B-Grade status on sheer erudition alone.  (Recycling from a 'cat pictures on Shakespeare quotes' thread)

Fred has Attitude. Or I guess I should say Cattitude. (I know, I know, that one's as old as the hills...)
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Vulpes

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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2019, 12:24:27 PM »
Three cats I have owned in the past, Greycat, Sandy and Old Spook, would have made Grade A, especially Greycat, who appointed herself guardian and protector of the two family members who most needed that, and would come and alert me if something was wrong with them.

You have been blessed with Grade A felines! I've had only one who might have made the A-grade - long, black, half-Siamese Borys, who would stand in the doorway and inspect the yard before allowing anyone else out each morning. He and his two sisters would come on short walks to a pond in the pasture with us; here he is in the winter, taking advantage of our snowshoe trail.

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Vulpes

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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2019, 12:25:35 PM »
My cat is definitely Grade D, being both old and about as intelligent as a sack of hammers.

I had one of those. We used to joke he had two neurons, one for yowling and one for eating. But he was still a lovely animal.
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Vulpes

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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2019, 12:26:39 PM »
What a splendid grade B cat you have!

I haven't put my cat through any official grading procedure, but I'm pretty sure he's grade D at best. I don't have his photo right now, but I'll post one as soon as it's available (which may take some time as I'm not going to be home until next weekend).

Why thank-you! We think she's pretty rad. Looking forward to seeing your grade D cat.
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Vulpes

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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2019, 12:39:56 PM »
grade my cats you say? Hmm okay let's see...

So. Many. Lovely. Cats!

Also, thanks Wavewright for digging up Roísín's cat-photos to add to the collection.

I didn't rate my cat for vermin-catching ability, I just slapped a tuna tin label on her and decided she looked Grade B. Windy, you are much more stringent in your grading! However, I think Grade B is accurate - she's a pretty good hunter, even though she's confined to the "catio", a ~1w x ~1.5h x ~2.5l metre cage (I'm totally spitballing those dimensions) and has to rely on rodents being stupid enough to enter a space that reeks of cats. Apparently shrews are that stupid, and occasionally squirrels or chipmunks. I suspect they don't regard it as a container with cats in it, because they can just go straight through. Unless intercepted by a cat. Here are my Grade B and C cats focused on a shrew juuuust outside the cage:



She only gets Grade B because she catches them and brings them indoors (there's a cat door) while they're quite lively and releases them for our entertainment. This would not be a good thing if they were rashed.

Sorry, I'll stop spamming the thread with my cats! I'm still waiting to see one from a forumite in an authentic SSSS collar.
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Noodles

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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #12 on: December 13, 2019, 04:12:06 PM »
I don't think I've ever had a grade A cat, but here are mine/my parents'! They're indoor only, so ratings are a little speculative.

Dash: Probably grade B, some interest in hunting but has a habit of bringing you her toys after she thinks she's killed them, so maybe not ideal. Does, however, rip all the legs off cellar spiders, leaving them alive and twitching, and then scream until you come look upon what she has wrought, which seems like a high grade cat trait.


Dot: Grade C. She's Large and enjoys watching birds, but pretty doofy too and tends to not understand physical space very well. Very cuddly, though!


Agate: The newest addition to the household, so I don't know her well, but I'd rate her a C on account of mostly wanting to nap and being very old and half toothless. Is very good at alerting the humans to issues of import, but those issues tend to be things like "the food dish is less than half full."


Louie: Grade D. If you look into his eyes you see light reflecting off the back of his skull. Hobbies include kneading, staring into the middle distance, and drooling. He is beautiful and graceful, but his head is just hollow, the poor little guy. Comforting in dark times.
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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #13 on: December 13, 2019, 04:25:04 PM »
heeee I love your cats, they're precious! <3
My cats are also indoor cats so ye, I feel you on the speculative grading. I'd have rated all my cats D for Doofus, but D isn't an official rating :P
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Vulpes

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Re: Grade your cats here!
« Reply #14 on: December 13, 2019, 06:23:25 PM »
Noodles, I like the Dash and Dot pairing - we had Peri and Winkle for a while. Matching cat names are fun.

As you may have guessed, I'm partial to black cats, so your/your parents' collection is impressive. Louie sounds like our old Winkle - charming, affectionate, but thick as a post.

My current Grade C cat sometimes looks remarkably like this:


I haven't got a photo of him sitting like that, but here's a crappy shot of him lying on his belly with legs out to the side like our old spaniel/beagle cross did. Only cat I've had that splays its legs like that! It's... uh... unique.

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