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Meandering Line - Minna's new comic

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dreki:
Haven't seen anyone share this here and I saw it up today so, here-

https://www.hummingfluff.com/testimonycomic/

I stopped reading when she described the comics she'd been making as 'empty' entertainment. I know I'm not the only one who has felt profoundly impacted by her works and I hope one day she can see the value in them.

Anyways. It exists.

tehta:
I read the whole thing when it came out. There was some discussion on the Discord, after.

One thing that struck me was that, in the first half, all her shifts in world-view and doubts were were clearly explained, and I could sympathize. But then her conversion just sort of happens, without any of the doubts resolved. Now, it would make sense if it happened because she decided to stop being intellectual about it and leap into faith, but she does mention that the sermons she heard made it all make sense, without explaining how. And I really wanted to know!

Anyway, like a lot of readers, I am happy for her to have found a community. Her church sounds like a supportive place, in spite of the whole 'all humans are corrupted, good deeds won't help' doctrine. I expect that must be really helpful for her anxiety. (I know it's weird to diagnose strangers over the internet, but she clearly has extreme anxiety, both of the social variety and in more general terms.)

So I think that was my feeling after reading it? That, on some level, finding a place for herself was more important than the doctrine?

Jitter:
The previous discussion is here: https://ssssforum.com/index.php?topic=1283.0

Most of it is speculation / based on Lovely People, comments on the story itself start with tyfasi’s on page 6.

She also seems to be coming to terms with the empty entertainment work, currently the Hummingfluff Studio frontpage https://www.hummingfluff.com/ says


--- Quote --- I can't whole-heartedly recommend the comics I finished during my pre-Christian era, since even though I tried to make them as "just entertainment" and for mass appeal, our worldviews always color our creations. But the comics exist, and read with that understanding they can be kinda decent. So if you do want to read them they are: 
--- End quote ---

Of course at the bottom, but “kinda decent” is a lot better than not mentioning they exist!

latmer:
I've been following her work for a long time and now that I read this comic... it was really confusing. Especially the nihilistic part was really creepy. I'm an atheist and I don't need God to tell me what is morally right or wrong.

dreki:

--- Quote from: latmer on January 05, 2023, 02:32:51 PM ---I've been following her work for a long time and now that I read this comic... it was really confusing. Especially the nihilistic part was really creepy. I'm an atheist and I don't need God to tell me what is morally right or wrong.

--- End quote ---

The comic comes off strongly as someone dealing with some form of mental illness/es.

The panic over the heat death of the universe could be anxiety or even a form of OCD.  I am not trying to diagnose her but I do feel confident saying she would benefit from a licensed mental health professional.

The "nihilist" stuff sounded a lot like intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are a part of many mental health issues and can be incredibly distressing. 

In an extreme example - there is a form of OCD that causes someone to be panicked that they may be a child molester. This person has never harmed a child, actively avoids children to avoid harming them, and is not likely to ever actually harm a child. (When it is this condition) But their intrusive thoughts are so strong the person is genuinely terrified that they will harm children.

So the "nihilism" that Minna describes sounds a lot like that.  It doesn't seem that she actually acted on it in a serious way. Yet she still saw herself as so "nihilistic" from these thoughts.

Getting schadenfreude from seeing other people suffer - it's documented, you can get a dopamine hit from seeing a bad thing happen to someone else.  When you're struggling with failing mental health, which can reduce joy from healthy areas, this dopamine hit can feel really good and then you seek it out.  It's not great - but just getting pleasure from seeing others' bad news doesn't innately do harm, but plays into the intrusive thoughts that she's a bad person.

So, in conclusion - while I cannot say exactly what was going on, what Minna expressed in the comic strongly matches a person going through a mental health crisis without proper treatment.

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