Author Topic: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:  (Read 76144 times)

BarbaryLion22

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #60 on: June 27, 2015, 09:33:56 PM »
Building a "Cat-a-pult" is neither a useful nor humane military tactic against Trolls.
No longer allowed near Grade A cats.
No longer allowed near Grade B cats.
No longer allowed near cats of any kind.
No longer allowed near animals even approximating catness.
No longer allowed near beasts even approximating catness.
No longer allowed near animals of any kind.
fluent :usa:
Decent :japan:
some :spain: hawaiian
barely at all :italy: :germany: :france:
Have Survived :chap5: :chap6: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10:

RandomTexanReader

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #61 on: June 27, 2015, 09:42:00 PM »
No longer allowed near beasts even approximating catness.
No longer allowed near animals of any kind.
Y'all are all such geniuses!

I'm going to have to go through at some point in the near future and try to put the list in a more logical order, just a headsup so somebody doesn't check the first page and go "Oh no, my contribution was removed!" Not removed, just moved.
... Texas ... is a mystique closely approximating a religion. And this is true to the extent that people either passionately love Texas or passionately hate it....
John Steinbeck
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:vaticancity: Domine, non sum dignus....
:mexico: No habla Espanol
:croatia: Hvala za nishto, dobro za nishto, mali vrag.

Keeper

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #62 on: June 27, 2015, 11:25:29 PM »
From my friend:
Not allowed to appear out of nowhere.
My addition to that:
Not allowed to ask mages to assist in the same.
:chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :book3: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :book4:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04:

Mark my words, it's not quite what you thought.

Ragnarok

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #63 on: June 28, 2015, 07:47:29 AM »
No longer allowed to teleport.
Any form of instant travel counts as teleporting.
Not allowed to ask mages to assist with above.
Not allowed to ask scientists either.
Survived: Chapters: :chap8::chap9::chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21: :A2chap01: :A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
Books: :book3: :book4:

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Ragnarok

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #64 on: July 08, 2015, 09:33:41 AM »
I am no longer allowed to debrief hunters after disastrous missions.
Or normal missions.
I am not allowed to talk to hunters.
Having a large couch does not make me a licensed psychiatrist.
Neither does owning a "pipe of wisdom."
Survived: Chapters: :chap8::chap9::chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21: :A2chap01: :A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
Books: :book3: :book4:

I wrote a thing. It has consumed my life.

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SugaAndSpice

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #65 on: July 10, 2015, 02:34:42 AM »
Not allowed to wrap new crew members in blanket burritos and joke about eating them, because no one understands my sense of humor
I say vol, you say tron! Vol!
…Voltron?

Antillanka

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #66 on: July 11, 2015, 08:11:56 PM »
Not allowed to wrap new crew members in blanket burritos and joke about eating them, because no one understands my sense of humor

So terribly accurate!
Iguana with issues
 
Speaks: :chile:('cause that sh*t ain't :spain: XD); :usa:

Ragnarok

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #67 on: July 25, 2015, 05:21:25 PM »
'En hel skide flok' is not a valid response when asked for an enemy numbers report.
Or for ANY numbers report.
Yes, this includes inventory.
...
No longer allowed near the armory.
Survived: Chapters: :chap8::chap9::chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21: :A2chap01: :A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
Books: :book3: :book4:

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RandomTexanReader

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #68 on: July 25, 2015, 06:07:01 PM »
'En hel skide flok' is not a valid response when asked for an enemy numbers report.
Or for ANY numbers report.
Yes, this includes inventory.
...
No longer allowed near the armory.
Language!
(It's in Danish though, so it gets added!)
... Texas ... is a mystique closely approximating a religion. And this is true to the extent that people either passionately love Texas or passionately hate it....
John Steinbeck
:usa:
:vaticancity: Domine, non sum dignus....
:mexico: No habla Espanol
:croatia: Hvala za nishto, dobro za nishto, mali vrag.

Sunflower

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #69 on: September 11, 2015, 01:22:16 PM »
From P. 375, where Reynir is nervously asking Mikkel whether being close to Rash-contaminated clothing would actually make his skin fall off and he'd die.  Mikkel says....

Well, our imaginative Minnions came up with some possible answers:


AmityM
Mikkel weighs his options:

- "I guess we'll find out together, won't we?"

- "Oh wait, you said not immune?"

- "Let's try to be optimistic -- maybe you are an outlier."

- "The way I look at it, 99.99% fatality isn't technically a guarantee."

- "Rash illness? I don't actually believe in any of that."

- "Actually, I'm completely convinced that you are already infected."

- "Oh no, you won't die."

This is a tough one...

corncobman 
"Don't tell me you have face-cancer too?"

"The cold kills the infection, but I think you're infected. The only way to kill it now is to stay outside overnight...."

"What's this infection thing everyone keeps talking about?"

"You won't die. You'll turn into a horrific creature with arms coming out of your skull and your mind will be so far gone you might as well be dead, but you won't die."

JoB 
"Well, yes, that's exactly what would happen to you [if these clothes were in fact still contagious]."

"I carefully mapped this vehicle's ventilation. Where you sit now, you're not downwind of the washing in any of the air currents. Better ask first when you need to move, though."

"I'm a medic, you know. A professional. I have a stapler and plenty of clamps for it, I will get your skin back on."

"Ah yes, safe distances. You had yours until the ship veered towards Amager ..."

"Don't worry too much about it. Usually the patient is in too much pain to worry about those details."
"I don't see the problem. Roasts need to be skinned anyway, right?"

Ceceoh 
"Your mother was a very wise woman."

"Oh, she was just trying not to scare you. Doesn't matter how far away you stand from bloody clothes."

"She was right! Quick, jump into this tub!" (Eh, that last one may not be subtle enough for Mikkel.)

Kiraly 
"No, no, that won't happen. First you'll turn into a monster, then your skin will fall off and you'll die."
"The music of what happens," said great Fionn, "that is the finest music in the world."
:chap3:  :chap4:  :chap5:  :book2:  :chap12:  :chap13:  :chap14:   :chap15:  :chap16:

Speak some:  :france:  :mexico:  :vaticancity:  Ein bisschen: :germany:

Sunflower

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #70 on: September 11, 2015, 01:25:15 PM »
The Mikkeltrolling continues on p. 376:

Random reader
Reynir: AAAAAAAH!!!! MIKKEEEEEEEEL!!!!! MY FACE FEELS LIKE IT'S MELTING OFF!!!! I'M GONNA DIEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Mikkel: What???
Reynir: I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT HOME!!!!!
Mikkel: Let me see.
Mikkel:  ...
Mikkel: Reynir, exactly how much time did you spend outdoors while you were growing up in Iceland?
Reynir: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING????
Mikkel: It's called sunburn, Reynir.
Reynir: WHAT???
Mikkel: If you spend too much time in the sun your skin turns red and hurts.
Reynir: THE SUN CAN KILL YOU???
Mikkel:
Mikkel: Yes. You'd better stay in the truck from now on. Just one burn won't cause too much damage, but two can kill you, and three definitely will. You should have stayed home.
"The music of what happens," said great Fionn, "that is the finest music in the world."
:chap3:  :chap4:  :chap5:  :book2:  :chap12:  :chap13:  :chap14:   :chap15:  :chap16:

Speak some:  :france:  :mexico:  :vaticancity:  Ein bisschen: :germany:

Ragnarok

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #71 on: September 11, 2015, 03:31:13 PM »
So new item:
I am not allowed to convince northern recruits that sunburn is the first sign of the Rash.
Even if they are immune.
Survived: Chapters: :chap8::chap9::chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21: :A2chap01: :A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
Books: :book3: :book4:

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Ragnarok

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #72 on: October 08, 2015, 09:29:07 PM »
Here's one!

I may not use coconuts and say I am in a cavalry brigade.
If I procure coconuts, I must explain how I got tropical plant life in Scandinavia.
Survived: Chapters: :chap8::chap9::chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21: :A2chap01: :A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
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Noodles

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #73 on: October 08, 2015, 09:31:10 PM »
Here's one!

I may not use coconuts and say I am in a cavalry brigade.
If I procure coconuts, I must explain how I got tropical plant life in Scandinavia.
I must also not convince Icelanders that Denmark has vast coconut forests.
I'll do art-swaps and beta-reads, PM me!
Native: :usa:
Can make a fool of myself, but comprehensibly: :france:
Write a little Sindarin (working on that)
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Ragnarok

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #74 on: October 16, 2015, 03:32:53 PM »
An artillery piece is not a toy.
Neither are the grenade launchers.
Survived: Chapters: :chap8::chap9::chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21: :A2chap01: :A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
Books: :book3: :book4:

I wrote a thing. It has consumed my life.

Reigning champion of time spent on this forum.