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Kelpie:
I've been thinking of making this for a while so here it is! An entire thread for everything TTRPG! Talk about different systems, your characters, and tell any cool stories you may have.

Now that it's here I don't know what to say so I'll start us off and tell you the story of why you should always pick up everything you find.Spoiler: "The Flippity Floppity Fish" • showThis is in 5e D&D and I'm playing a stereotypical warlock of dubious morals. The group needed a place to sleep for the night so we looked for an inn, and the closest one was called The Flippity Floppity Fish. We were all like okay, that's a weird name but whatever as long as we can sleep there so we went in. We were greeted by an extremely enthusiastic innkeeper who started talking to the lawful good super-righteous Cleric man.

Innkeeper (with a heavy accent that changed the whole time we were talking to him): Welcome to the Flippity Floppity Fish!!!
 It is ten gold for a night, but! You may pay in fish if you wish! *flops a fish around*

Cleric: Okay, yeah here's the mon-

Me: WAIT.

It was about then that I realized I had an entire bag of fish bones in my backpack for some reason. I still don't know where they came from. I dumped them out on the counter.

Innkeeper: No nonono! These fish are not flippity floppity! The fish must be flippity floppity, and these are no longer!

Me: But sir, *waves a hand over the fish and makes them look alive with prestidigitation* would you still say that these fish are not flippity floppity?

Innkeeper: *gasps in wonder at the fish and gets one of the employees* Look! These fish were not flippity floppity and he has made them flippity floppity! Take the fish behind and I shall bring them to their rooms.

So from there I knew that the spell only lasts like a few minutes or something but we had a free room for the moment and I was taking it. We slept for the night.

DM: Hey Jhev, you're awoken by the sound of very loud arguing.

I went downstairs to find the sorceress and the rogue arguing with the innkeeper.

Me: What seems to be the problem?

Innkeeper: The fish are no longer flippity floppity! You have cheated us!

Me: I assure you we did nothing of the sort! You must have done something to the fish!

And so it went back and forth like that for a while until...

Me: How do I know you didn't eat the fish?

Innkeeper: I would never eat the fish!

Me: Then what about one of the employees?

The guy got a weird look on his face and walked into the backroom. There was suddenly a bunch of yelling and the employee from the night before ran out of the inn with the Innkeeper chasing him.

Innkeeper: I am so sorry! You must forgive me, have another night free, and some fish for breakfast!

Turns out, he went in the backroom right as the employee was eating breakfast, and that's the story of how I got two nights free at an inn and an employee fired with nothing but a bag of dead fish.

What weird/cool stuff have you guys pulled off? Something better than my lame fish story, I'm sure.

Jethan:
That's such a funny, silly story.  :))
Unfortunately I haven't roleplayed much, but I look forward to reading other people's funny stories.

Purple Wyrm:
Here's a nice coincidence - while doing some cleaning over the weekend I uncovered a box full of all my old Middle Earth Role Playing (MERP) stuff, which reminded me of an incident in the campaign I ran for my friends many years ago.

I'd run them through the introductory campaign from the boxed set which involved raiding a sorcerer's castle in the Trollshaws. During the course of this adventure they'd picked up an arrow of Fell Beast slaying - they weren't able to identify it completely, but they knew it was enchanted.

From the Trollshaws they decided to travel to Tharbad to sell their loot. Along the way they picked up a fellow traveller who - unbeknownst to them - was the sorcerer whose castle they'd trashed. He wasn't very happy, and had a plan to get his revenge.

When they reached the Barrow Downs he surreptitiously summoned a fog and led them off the road (you've got to get lost in a fog on the Barrow Downs! It's tradition! ;D ). He then summoned a Fell Beast, revealed his identity and attacked!

The group's archer decided to use the enchanted arrow. I had of course planned for this - a Fell Beast was a bit too tough for the party to handle but the arrow should even the odds. He let fly, and rolled the percentile dice...

He rolled a 99.

Under the MERP system when you roll above 97 you roll again and add it to the total. The arrow gave the roll a +50, so the total was already at 149 (out of 100), and he got to roll again. He rolled...

98!

The total was now at 247 with another roll to go! He rolled again...

55

The final attack roll was 302 out of 100. I dropped my dice to the table without even bothering with an opposing roll, and described the Fell Beast exploding into a fine pink mist before collapsing into hysterical laughter along with everyone else  ;D

Abprallen:
The first campaign I played we were still learning the ropes - it was also our DM's first game - so I have a few funny stories from that! One that sticks though is this one, when we were escaping from prison.
Should also mention it was D&D 5e!
Spoiler: long and swearing • show
We'd started off in a court house where we were all being tried of a crime we didn't commit, and it ended up with us being in the back of a covered wagon as they transferred us to a bigger prison.
My character was a bear. My character did not like being cooped up in the wagon. So I decided I was going to sort the guards out and take the front seat.
DM: okay, d20
I rolled a natural 20.
DM: (laughing) oh my god, okay, you punch through the wood and take a guard out.
Me: Yes!
Spurned on by my success, another tried the same thing but ended up just having to stab through the wood with their sword. But we were free from the guards. The wagon, however, continued moving until we heard a commotion outside and the sound of the horses panicking.
So we all jumped out to take a looksie and a tree had come to life and was chilling out in the middle of the path. We managed to calm it and convince it to go back into the forests around us, but we weren't so lucky with our horses. Only one managed to calm down somewhat, but the other was still panicking.
T: I'll make a potion for it!
DM: Go for it, d20.
He rolled a 1.
The horse took one whiff of the potion he'd made and died on the spot. The other horse was, understandably, shitting itself.
S: we'll need that meat, though.
We all nod in agreement, our DM watching in horror as we all agree to cut up the dead horse and take it with us as food. We roll and do pretty well, getting most of the viable meat from it.
The wagon is useless without two horses to pull it, so we cut it apart for firewood and eat 1/3 of the horse on the spot. The rest we wrap up and put on the other horse to carry for us.
DM: (almost crying) you sick, sick bastards!! You've just traumatised it! First you kill its companion in front of it, now you force it to carry them!
All: Your point??

There's a lot more from this campaign like when we convinced an ogre we were the god of the forge but I'll save it for another day :P

Purple Wyrm:

--- Quote from: Abprallen on April 11, 2017, 07:00:58 AM ---My character was a bear.

--- End quote ---

Paging Sir Bearington! ;D

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