Author Topic: A New Type of Verse; a challenge  (Read 802 times)

Yastreb

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A New Type of Verse; a challenge
« on: August 19, 2021, 07:08:04 AM »
In the Scriptorium, I posted two examples in a new type of verse I'd created by chance in writing my Dragonhost Saga.

The verse form consists of seven lines, each of six syllables, with the first, fourth and seventh lines rhyming. These verses are known as Vetsys yotah, from the Zantrian, meaning "Seven of Six," or Hovri d’zhanay, meaning "Voice of the Soul."

How can my love remain?
Sweet heart so far away
Sweet soul is lost to me
Never to see again
Never to share a kiss
Never to share our joy
How can my love remain?

When shall we speak their names?
When we speak of heroes
And praise them to the skies
Then shall we speak their names
Recall the price they paid
Recall the lives they gave
Then shall we speak their names


Anyone willing to dabble in the new form?

"Life is all we are. Life is what defines us. In the end, Life is the answer."

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Jitter

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Re: A New Type of Verse; a challenge
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2021, 09:56:03 AM »
I'll mull it over but I fear it's too demanding for me! Rhyming in English is hard for us non-natives! Although your examples don't just rhyme but repeat the same line - is that a rule in the verse?

I do seem to recall I tried to write an epic poem set in the history of the Forgotten Realms D&D world as a teenager, but since then the most rhyming in English I have done can probably be seen in the poets cornered thread :)
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Róisín

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Re: A New Type of Verse; a challenge
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2021, 05:13:33 PM »
When the current furore is over and I have finished with present round of medical appointments and work, I am willing to have a go. May I tell the library writers’ group about your invention? They remember and liked you, and I think would be interested to try, especially Kehau. Interesting!
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thorny

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Re: A New Type of Verse; a challenge
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2021, 08:41:44 PM »
Then shall we speak their names?
Or shall we speak instead
Of those who died by them?
I think we should refrain
From praising those who kill
But give to those who build,
And raise, and tend, the fame.

Yastreb

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Re: A New Type of Verse; a challenge
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2021, 08:53:17 AM »
Róisín, I'm honoured by your request. I'd love to see what they write.



"Life is all we are. Life is what defines us. In the end, Life is the answer."

Ruler of Bartolomeu de Gusmão Airport.

Róisín

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Re: A New Type of Verse; a challenge
« Reply #5 on: August 21, 2021, 03:35:33 AM »
Thanks Yastreb. The writers group haven’t been meeting much, what with covid and other crises but hope to be getting back into the swing of things maybe late August/ early September. I will suggest it to Dwaine. Other crises are something about which I will be contacting you later.
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Yastreb

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Re: A New Type of Verse; a challenge
« Reply #6 on: August 27, 2021, 09:52:27 AM »
Something from the Dragonhost Saga (most likely Book 4; Lifebearer)

When the Dragon rises
Hope will be born again
An end to our despair
When the Dragon rises
The magic will return
The future will be bright
When the Dragon rises

"Life is all we are. Life is what defines us. In the end, Life is the answer."

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Opaque

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Re: A New Type of Verse; a challenge
« Reply #7 on: September 01, 2021, 05:03:07 PM »
Rising through ashen dreams
Out of the soot and haze
A sliver of pale green
Shown by it's pure light beams
Gathering up sunlight
Reaching high through the fog
Parted by shining streams

Róisín

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Re: A New Type of Verse; a challenge
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2021, 01:30:34 AM »
Opaque and thorny, those poems are beautiful!

Yastreb, I took your new verseform to the writer’s group today, and they loved it and send their regards! It was my turn to set the assignment, so I suggested your new verseform. The only one not there, alas, was Kehau, I think she would have loved it too. I shall probably email it to her. The library meeting was broken up early by weather, because we have been having some rather violent storms today. When a tree came down on the wires a few blocks away from the library, and the town’s power went out for the third time today, while a few pieces blew off the building, we all decided that it was safer to go home while we could.

I am now at home, and it is some four and a half hours later. The lights, phone and internet have just come back on, so I can post here to show you my poem in the style you invented, and will email Dwaine to tell the others you would love to see copies of theirs.

Here is my poem in Hovri D’Zahnay mode. What inspired it was the news that an old poet friend had recently died up in FNQ where he had lived, and his niece couldn’t find me (it seems he left some books to me and to Perry). She had tracked me down by contacting Perry, who has a much more obvious social media presence than I do, because his garden is famous and he has a more unusual name than I do.

An Elegy for Absent Friends

When I think of old times
Adventurous days past
Travelling, learning, free,
Making fine songs and rhymes,
Wandering all the world
With dear companions bold:
Those were the best of times.


 I considered that the form might work well for an elegy. Since it was someone whom you may have met way back when we lived in the same city I will email you more about this tonight.

And now I shall go out to clear up some more storm damage.
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