Author Topic: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:  (Read 21021 times)

LooNEY_DAC

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #330 on: November 20, 2017, 06:23:49 AM »
I will not organize, participate in, or suggest a raffle for Admiral Olsen's beard braids.
...or the contents of any of the base's supply stores.

I will not sell places in a line for people to throw things at Admiral Olsen.
...or tickets to watch the participants do so.
I will hand over all funds already collected for this endeavor.

I will not sell places in a line for people to throw things at me...
...unless I intend to go through with it.
I am solely responsible for any altercations that occur amongst people jostling for a better place in said line.

Grade E cat

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #331 on: November 21, 2017, 02:17:18 AM »
I will not send new recruits on snipe hunts in nearby Silent towns.
I will not send new recruits on snipe hunts in Silent countries.
Especially Reynir √Ārnason.
I'm not allowed near our honored guest from Switzerland.
I'm not allowed near our honored guest from Japan.
I'm not allowed near our honored guest from Madagascar.
I'm not allowed near our honored guest from Australia.
I'm not allowed near the descendants of the handful of people who were in Antartica when the Rash happened.

I will hand over all material concerning the webcomic "Replay".
I will stop calling Reynir "Ada".
Stefen is not a good rolemodel.
Trolls can't be killed more easily with Japanese katana.
Nevermind, our guest from Japan just confirmed that one is actually true.
The internal organs of trolls do no contain any hidden clues about their nature. I am to decontaminate those sheets myself.
If it's in a story set not that long after its own apocalypse, I am to assume that someone already tried it decades ago.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2017, 03:05:37 PM by Grade E cat »
Note to self: I live in France and go to bed early, I do NOT get time zone induced early updates
Native: :france:
So much part of my life it might as well be native: :usa:
Few and far between practice opportunities: :spain:
A little learned during hardcore anime fan phase: :japan:
Only alternative to English in early junior high school: :germany:

Lazy8

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #332 on: December 07, 2017, 07:08:08 PM »
I will not shove snowballs down the back of my commanding officer's jacket.
I will not shove snowballs down the back of my subordinates' jackets.
I will not shove snowballs down the back of anyone's jacket.
Nor down the front of anyone's jacket.
Nor down anyone's pants, boots, or other articles of clothing.
I will not bring snowballs within arm's reach of any other person.
I will relinquish all snowballs currently in my possession, effective immediately.
I will not make more snowballs.
:usa: native
:spain: comes back in an emergency
:vaticancity: rusty
:china: can usually manage to order food
:norway: can hold a basic conversation

:chap5: | :book2: | :book3: | :chap17: :chap18:

Grade E cat

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #333 on: December 08, 2017, 04:19:46 AM »
I will not shove snowballs down the back of my commanding officer's jacket.
I will not shove snowballs down the back of my subordinates' jackets.
I will not shove snowballs down the back of anyone's jacket.
Nor down the front of anyone's jacket.
Nor down anyone's pants, boots, or other articles of clothing.
I will not bring snowballs within arm's reach of any other person.
I will relinquish all snowballs currently in my possession, effective immediately.
I will not make more snowballs.

And let's not forget the ultimate snowball-related trolling move:

I will explain where I found that large Old World freezer.
I will explain to any visitors to the base why there is now an official rule against throwing snowballs at people in summer.

(I literally taught myself to read in English with Calvin and Hobbes comics.)
« Last Edit: December 08, 2017, 04:22:28 AM by Grade E cat »
Note to self: I live in France and go to bed early, I do NOT get time zone induced early updates
Native: :france:
So much part of my life it might as well be native: :usa:
Few and far between practice opportunities: :spain:
A little learned during hardcore anime fan phase: :japan:
Only alternative to English in early junior high school: :germany:

LooNEY_DAC

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #334 on: December 10, 2017, 07:56:08 PM »
I am not allowed to go around wearing a chicken on my head.
I am not a giant chicken poorly disguised as a human, nor are any of my colleagues.
...especially not Admiral Olsen.
I am not allowed to sing the "Chicken Boo" song.
...especially not when Admiral Olsen is in my immediate vicinity.

LooNEY_DAC

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #335 on: December 15, 2017, 01:39:24 PM »
I am not allowed to use the terms "paper cut" and "multiple organ failure" in the same paragraph, to say nothing of the same sentence.
I am not allowed to mention circumcision, appendectomies, septicemia, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, metastatic tumors, or waterboarding in the same paragraph as the term "paper cut".
I am not allowed under any circumstance or in any context to use the phrase "true story".
I am not allowed to tell stories, true or not.
...especially true stories.
...especially true stories about Admiral Olsen.

Grade E cat

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #336 on: January 04, 2018, 04:44:03 AM »
My spatial awareness issues not entitle me to use echolocation.
Especially in a place that is called the Silent World for a good reason.
I should get glasses already.
I will not get any glasses before their design gets approved by my entire chain of command.
I am no longer allowed to start a debate on whether the slowness of the approval process or the average time I can keep a job are at fault in me not getting any glasses yet.
Note to self: I live in France and go to bed early, I do NOT get time zone induced early updates
Native: :france:
So much part of my life it might as well be native: :usa:
Few and far between practice opportunities: :spain:
A little learned during hardcore anime fan phase: :japan:
Only alternative to English in early junior high school: :germany:

wavewright62

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #337 on: January 04, 2018, 04:51:11 AM »
My attempts at using echolocation do not entitle me to call myself Batman.
Always a newbie at something
Native speaker: :usa:
Acquired: :newzealand:
Grew up speaking but now very rusty: :estonia:

Chapter break survivor: :chap18: :chap17: :book3: :chap16: :chap15: :chap14: :chap13: :book2: :chap12: :chap11: :chap10: :chap9: :chap8: :chap7: :chap6: :book1: :chap5:

(Thanks Purple Wyrm, I will wear my wings with pride)