Author Topic: The SSSS Scriptorium  (Read 787014 times)

ParanormalAndroid

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #705 on: July 10, 2015, 06:23:14 PM »
Ooh, I really like this! :D I agree with Solo but overall it's really well-written!
Hah, well, thanks- as I've said, I honestly don't think I'm an especially talented fictional writer (hence why I want to go into journalism) but I thought I might as well try.

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #706 on: July 10, 2015, 06:41:52 PM »
Right, so Solovei finally persuaded me into getting past my laziness and actually writing something.
This is, uh, actually my first ever fanfic. I don't know how it's going to go or even if it fits with canon especially, but neh, it's in the spoiler.
Honest but harsh criticism would be preferable to kind but untrue comments, BTW.

Spoiler: show

The Deal
   The Örvænta Bar is always quiet. Soft music plays, cutting through the fug of cigarette smoke and the stink of alcohol. The clientele all seem oddly reticent, cowed somehow. Most of them, roughnecks and workers from the factories and the farms, are gathered around the bar downing shots of brennivín and muttering to each other. Iceland is a quiet country at the best of times, but there's something unusual about this atmosphere.
One woman sits in the corner, away from the workers. She cradles a glass awkwardly in her left hand, as if it would break were she to move. She gazes at the door.
   A boy walks in, swaggering yet gangly, still stuck between awkward youth and maturity. He orders a beer, then takes a table near the woman.
"Trainee mage, lad?"
He gawps at here, as if old women weren't previously capable of speech.
"Well, son?"
"Uh... Yes. How did you tell?"
"A mage always recognises a mage, no matter her age."
He gawps again.
"What? You think mages were invented the minute you were born?"
He inspects her.
"You're not as old as I thought...?"
"Mirjam. And you?"
"Pjetur, ma'am. Trainee Mage, 2nd Class."
"Mage-at-Arms, 1st Class, retired. Nice to meet you, Pjetur. But I have to tell you something."
He sneers. "What could you tell me, old woman?"
"Less of the attitude, I'm not old, I'm wounded. Now listen. You're too young to remember it, but did anyone ever tell you about the Kastrup expedition?"
"What's Kastrup?"
It's her turn to sneer.
"Evidently not, youngling. Listen.
Kastrup was a Danish suburb, part of Copenhagen, the capital. Denmark? Surely you weren't stupid enough to forget it. You only need to know five countries nowadays. Anyway, it was a major city, but was totally overrun by trolls. Most of the population either died from the off or as they tried to escape over the Oresund Bridge. Some were gunned down by the Swedish military, to prevent infection. This was in the early days of the Rash. In any case, it was awful. Thousands of deaths, thousands more infected. The whole city was abandoned for a long, long time."
The boy looks bemused.
"Look, you impatient fool, you need to know this. Temper your short attention span. Now, Copenhagen was a big deal for all those Danish soldiers and citizens stranded on Bornholm or in Sweden and Norway. It was a symbol of hope. A long time after the city was lost, a huge expedition was mounted to retake it. All five nations pledged support, freelancers came swarming for the money, and Danish citizens came for the glory. It took months to organise, but with all that influence and money it moved swiftly."
The boy expresses a modicum more interest.
"We were divided into platoons, which divided into divisions which in turn divided into squads. I was in Platoon B, Division A, Squad 2. We were mainly scouts and cleansers with a few combat-ready skalds, sent in supposedly after the heavy-duty cleansing was done, but still very much at the tip of the spear. Our squad was a small one. Three scouts, four cleansers, two skalds and two mages, me and my Finnish colleague Hollo. I can only remember him, Bjornsen the cleanser and Bryndísarson the scout. The rest of us didn't make it."
The boy's eyes widen; "What happened?"
"Trolls, son. Trolls. More of them than you'll ever see. Kastrup was infested, and the generals hadn't properly briefed us. We'd already seen a giant wipe out two squads across the river, and heard screaming and that awful, awful static on the radio. As soon as we were in the suburb, it was clear that we were in a deathtrap. Almost every building contained a nest. They sent in the tanks first, but they made so much noise, they were being overwhelmed with trolls or destroyed by giants the moment they fired their guns. Kastrup had many pockets of shade for trolls to lurk in, and there was barely a day of sun. "
The boy, at this point, genuinely looks interested.
"So why were you sent in?"
The woman takes a long drink. She moves jerkily, awkwardly, grimacing with every movement.
"Glory. The generals couldn't back out for fear of ridicule, so they sent us poor footsoldiers unto the breach. One hundred and three squads were sent in over the course of a month. Know how many came out intact? Forty-six.  All the others lost people. Most died."
She stops, eyes misting over with the effort of memory.
"My squad was one of the worst hit. Of the eleven people who went into Kastrup, three came out, all injured."
She looks at the boy's expression.
"It was a slaughter, kid. And it was mostly my fault."
She drains her glass.
"One of the skalds wandered too far into the shade, and a beast, a dog, ripped out her throat. Hollo didn't warn her in time, and for that I will never forgive him. I can still remember her face as it ripped her to pieces. The cleansers went to help, and a much larger troll came from the shade and killed them. I didn't see how. All I saw was the blood. One of them managed to unlimber his flamethrower and burn the thing, but he was too late to stop it ripping his leg off."
The boy starts to look queasy.
"Look, kid, you wanted to be a combat mage, you gotta face the bad bits too. Sure, magic's impressive, but it takes a toll. You accrue a debt. My old trainer compared it to a deal with the Devil; it's the best thing in the world until the Devil takes his due. And he always has his due. On that day, my wards failed. The beast took my left leg off at the knee and clawed my face half off. I wouldn't be sitting here had Bjornsen not blown its head off. Him and Hollo dragged me away as I watched the rest of the squad, doomed, attempt to fight the trolls. When a giant came screeching from the next street and simply crushed them, I stopped caring. I passed out."
The boy is looking distinctly unhappy now.
"What, you thought you'd just wave your hands and scare the trolls away? I told you, magic isn't a gift. It's not an ability. It's a debt that you accrue. The lives I previously saved with my wards and runes were paid for with the lives of my squad."
She gets up. The boy notices, for the first time, her scarred face and stiff limbs.
"I also lost my right eye, both legs and right arm, boy. That's what your magic did. Still proud?"
She limps to the door, turning to balefully gaze at him with her one working eye.
"Be careful with the Devil, son. He's devious and cruel. He'll promise you glory and power, then whisk it away and give you pain and sorrow."
She turns to leave, tossing over her shoulder one last bitter sentence:
"He always, always gets his due."
   
I'll be honest, I wasn't entirely sure about this one. I think it perhaps dragged on too long, maybe wasn't entirely convincing, and perhaps wasn't worded well enough.
Still, it's my first fanfic (ever) and of course it can be rewritten: I'll remind you that I would appreciate honest but harsh criticism far, far more than kind but untrue words in the long run.
Still, hope you enjoyed!
EDIT 1: addressing problems helpfully pointed out by Solovei.


This is more of a culture and language-related thing than any real correction so feel free to ignore, but since this happens in Iceland I thought I might as well mention it: Icelanders don't use surnames talking about other people. Calling someone "son of Bryndís" doesn't tell you who it is so instead you'd use the person's real name or names, a nickname or a name and a nickname combo (let's imagine you have four guys called Páll in the same room: one is Páll, another Páll Óskar, third Palli, fourth stóri Páll). Bjornsen might be non-Icelandic (going by his surname) but Icelanders would still rather use his first name.

I quite enjoyed this fic, looking forward to reading more of your writing in the future! :)
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ParanormalAndroid

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #707 on: July 10, 2015, 06:44:02 PM »
This is more of a culture and language-related thing than any real correction so feel free to ignore, but since this happens in Iceland I thought I might as well mention it: Icelanders don't use surnames talking about other people. Calling someone "son of Bryndís" doesn't tell you who it is so instead you'd use the person's real name or names, a nickname or a name and a nickname combo (let's imagine you have four guys called Páll in the same room: one is Páll, another Páll Óskar, third Palli, fourth stóri Páll). Bjornsen might be non-Icelandic (going by his surname) but Icelanders would still rather use his first name.

I quite enjoyed this fic, looking forward to reading more of your writing in the future! :)
Thanks for the cultural info- frankly, I only knew what I could glean off Google. That'll help in the future, because frankly my writing's stilted enough as it is. (although Bjornsen is indeed Swedish)
It's nice that you enjoyed it, but now I don't know if *I* did. .-.

LooNEY_DAC

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #708 on: July 10, 2015, 07:01:43 PM »
Right, so Solovei finally persuaded me into getting past my laziness and actually writing something.
This is, uh, actually my first ever fanfic. I don't know how it's going to go or even if it fits with canon especially, but neh, it's in the spoiler.
Honest but harsh criticism would be preferable to kind but untrue comments, BTW.

Spoiler: show

The Deal
   The Örvænta Bar is always quiet. Soft music plays, cutting through the fug of cigarette smoke and the stink of alcohol. The clientele all seem oddly reticent, cowed somehow. Most of them, roughnecks and workers from the factories and the farms, are gathered around the bar downing shots of brennivín and muttering to each other. Iceland is a quiet country at the best of times, but there's something unusual about this atmosphere.
One woman sits in the corner, away from the workers. She cradles a glass awkwardly in her left hand, as if it would break were she to move. She gazes at the door.
   A boy walks in, swaggering yet gangly, still stuck between awkward youth and maturity. He orders a beer, then takes a table near the woman.
"Trainee mage, lad?"
He gawps at here, as if old women weren't previously capable of speech.
"Well, son?"
"Uh... Yes. How did you tell?"
"A mage always recognises a mage, no matter her age."
He gawps again.
"What? You think mages were invented the minute you were born?"
He inspects her.
"You're not as old as I thought...?"
"Mirjam. And you?"
"Pjetur, ma'am. Trainee Mage, 2nd Class."
"Mage-at-Arms, 1st Class, retired. Nice to meet you, Pjetur. But I have to tell you something."
He sneers. "What could you tell me, old woman?"
"Less of the attitude, I'm not old, I'm wounded. Now listen. You're too young to remember it, but did anyone ever tell you about the Kastrup expedition?"
"What's Kastrup?"
It's her turn to sneer.
"Evidently not, youngling. Listen.
Kastrup was a Danish suburb, part of Copenhagen, the capital. Denmark? Surely you weren't stupid enough to forget it. You only need to know five countries nowadays. Anyway, it was a major city, but was totally overrun by trolls. Most of the population either died from the off or as they tried to escape over the Oresund Bridge. Some were gunned down by the Swedish military, to prevent infection. This was in the early days of the Rash. In any case, it was awful. Thousands of deaths, thousands more infected. The whole city was abandoned for a long, long time."
The boy looks bemused.
"Look, you impatient fool, you need to know this. Temper your short attention span. Now, Copenhagen was a big deal for all those Danish soldiers and citizens stranded on Bornholm or in Sweden and Norway. It was a symbol of hope. A long time after the city was lost, a huge expedition was mounted to retake it. All five nations pledged support, freelancers came swarming for the money, and Danish citizens came for the glory. It took months to organise, but with all that influence and money it moved swiftly."
The boy expresses a modicum more interest.
"We were divided into platoons, which divided into divisions which in turn divided into squads. I was in Platoon B, Division A, Squad 2. We were mainly scouts and cleansers with a few combat-ready skalds, sent in supposedly after the heavy-duty cleansing was done, but still very much at the tip of the spear. Our squad was a small one. Three scouts, four cleansers, two skalds and two mages, me and my Finnish colleague Hollo. I can only remember him, Bjornsen the cleanser and Bryndísarson the scout. The rest of us didn't make it."
The boy's eyes widen; "What happened?"
"Trolls, son. Trolls. More of them than you'll ever see. Kastrup was infested, and the generals hadn't properly briefed us. We'd already seen a giant wipe out two squads across the river, and heard screaming and that awful, awful static on the radio. As soon as we were in the suburb, it was clear that we were in a deathtrap. Almost every building contained a nest. They sent in the tanks first, but they made so much noise, they were being overwhelmed with trolls or destroyed by giants the moment they fired their guns. Kastrup had many pockets of shade for trolls to lurk in, and there was barely a day of sun. "
The boy, at this point, genuinely looks interested.
"So why were you sent in?"
The woman takes a long drink. She moves jerkily, awkwardly, grimacing with every movement.
"Glory. The generals couldn't back out for fear of ridicule, so they sent us poor footsoldiers unto the breach. One hundred and three squads were sent in over the course of a month. Know how many came out intact? Forty-six.  All the others lost people. Most died."
She stops, eyes misting over with the effort of memory.
"My squad was one of the worst hit. Of the eleven people who went into Kastrup, three came out, all injured."
She looks at the boy's expression.
"It was a slaughter, kid. And it was mostly my fault."
She drains her glass.
"One of the skalds wandered too far into the shade, and a beast, a dog, ripped out her throat. Hollo didn't warn her in time, and for that I will never forgive him. I can still remember her face as it ripped her to pieces. The cleansers went to help, and a much larger troll came from the shade and killed them. I didn't see how. All I saw was the blood. One of them managed to unlimber his flamethrower and burn the thing, but he was too late to stop it ripping his leg off."
The boy starts to look queasy.
"Look, kid, you wanted to be a combat mage, you gotta face the bad bits too. Sure, magic's impressive, but it takes a toll. You accrue a debt. My old trainer compared it to a deal with the Devil; it's the best thing in the world until the Devil takes his due. And he always has his due. On that day, my wards failed. The beast took my left leg off at the knee and clawed my face half off. I wouldn't be sitting here had Bjornsen not blown its head off. Him and Hollo dragged me away as I watched the rest of the squad, doomed, attempt to fight the trolls. When a giant came screeching from the next street and simply crushed them, I stopped caring. I passed out."
The boy is looking distinctly unhappy now.
"What, you thought you'd just wave your hands and scare the trolls away? I told you, magic isn't a gift. It's not an ability. It's a debt that you accrue. The lives I previously saved with my wards and runes were paid for with the lives of my squad."
She gets up. The boy notices, for the first time, her scarred face and stiff limbs.
"I also lost my right eye, both legs and right arm, boy. That's what your magic did. Still proud?"
She limps to the door, turning to balefully gaze at him with her one working eye.
"Be careful with the Devil, son. He's devious and cruel. He'll promise you glory and power, then whisk it away and give you pain and sorrow."
She turns to leave, tossing over her shoulder one last bitter sentence:
"He always, always gets his due."
   
I'll be honest, I wasn't entirely sure about this one. I think it perhaps dragged on too long, maybe wasn't entirely convincing, and perhaps wasn't worded well enough.
Still, it's my first fanfic (ever) and of course it can be rewritten: I'll remind you that I would appreciate honest but harsh criticism far, far more than kind but untrue words in the long run.
Still, hope you enjoyed!
EDIT 1: addressing problems helpfully pointed out by Solovei.


Spoiler: Some technical stuff • show
Nothing major; little nit-picks only.

1. On the Importance of Proof-Reading (though I make a few slip-ups myself):
[quote]...cutting through the fug of cigarette smoke...[/quote]
What's "fug"?
[quote]...died from the off or as they tried...[/quote]
"Off"? It looks like you meant "Rash" or synonym there.

2. Military Technicalities:
[quote]"We were divided into platoons, which divided into divisions which in turn divided into squads. I was in Platoon B, Division A, Squad 2."[/quote]
Ummmm… no.
There are 2 problems here:
1. The units are wrong. "Squad" is OK, while "Platoon" (UK: "Section") would normally be right above it, and a "Division" is usually between 5,000-25,000 men strong.
2. Minor unit designations generally alternate between letters and numbers in order to avoid confusion, and are usually listed smaller->larger.
In a nutshell: a better wording would be: "We were divided into companies, which divided into platoons (or sections) which in turn divided into squads. I was in B[ravo] Squad, First Platoon/Section, B[ravo] Company."

Other than that, not bad.

ParanormalAndroid

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #709 on: July 10, 2015, 07:28:53 PM »
[deletia]
A fug is, as I understand it, a dense/impenetrable cloud of smoke or a particularly strong smell.
"From the off" is a saying- it means "immediately", but is more colloquial.
I'm certain that those two are right, though perhaps they're not commonly used outside of Britain. While it may be odd, then, for an Icelandic woman to be saying "from the off", I'm sure an equivalent exists, which would mean the same thing in Icelandic. "Fug" was used by me in a narrative/descriptive context and so is fine.
The military issue is sheer ignorance on my part, though- thank you for clearing it up, and also for taking the time to read my (in retrospect rather poor) submission.

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #710 on: July 10, 2015, 08:40:22 PM »
A fug is, as I understand it, a dense/impenetrable cloud of smoke or a particularly strong smell.
"From the off" is a saying- it means "immediately", but is more colloquial.
I agree about the "fug", that's definitely a thing.
I hadn't heard "from the off", but it sorta works in context.
Overall, a little awkward in some parts, but not bad, especially for a first fic.
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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #711 on: July 11, 2015, 12:47:43 PM »
Here we go! Just select the link below for the first part of the SSSS/ATLA crossover. (I don't know if it's any good, but I sure had fun writing it.)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4304550/chapters/9756402

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #712 on: July 11, 2015, 05:49:15 PM »
@Willowham: I'd reread it, but I'm too lazy to go to the library and borrow it and after the third miniseries I feel like Warriors kinda died on me :/
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LooNEY_DAC

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #713 on: July 12, 2015, 02:58:23 AM »
For this part, I'm jumping waaaaaaaay ahead, just to give a few hints as to where some things are going.

Correspondence
A “Stand Still. Stay Silent” fanfic
Part VIII
Spoiler: show
Year 218, Winter

Herr Lalli E. A. M. Västerström,
Västerström House
Östersund

Herr Västerström,

It has come to our attention that certain personal papers of your revered ancestor, Emil Västerström, have recently been unearthed at the Mora-Sollerön house he occupied for many years. If this is true, and considering the forthcoming centennial of the Kristinehamn-Karlstad Triumphs, Förlaget Harlequin AB, the oldest and largest publisher in Sweden, would be honored if you, as head of the House of Västerström, would be so gracious as to permit us to publish these newly discovered papers.

I hope you will agree that the presses of Förlaget Harlequin AB have not been unjust to the House of Västerström in the past, considering the seven biographies of Aukusti Västerström, the four of Emil Västerström, the Silent World Expedition histories, and the recent House Västerström: Through Struggle to Triumph, recounting an overview of your family from the Year Zero to the present, all published over the last century by Förlaget Harlequin AB, and all acclaimed by historians and the general Swedish public. We feel this body of work speaks for itself on how your revered ancestor’s papers will be treated should you grant us leave to publish them.

Of course, to one of your standing, fiscal considerations are trifling affairs, but please be aware that, in anticipation of the massive sales that books about your House always yield, Förlaget Harlequin AB are prepared to remit [FIGURE OBSCURED] kronor to any recipient you may direct. I had heard that the Society for Aid to the Kin of Fallen Cleansers, a most noble organization and favored by your House for many years, has recently been plagued by a dearth of donations.

Please give the matter your utmost consideration and reply at your earliest convenience.

Yours Most Respectfully,
Sven Haakonsen,
Managing Director,
Förlaget Harlequin AB
Mora-Sollerön

*
Year 218, Spring

Herr Sven Haakonsen,
Managing Director,
Förlaget Harlequin AB
Mora-Sollerön

Herr Haakonsen,

Firstly, I apologize for the delay in answering your most flattering communication, but it was occasioned wholly by my need to consider fully and at length your surprising offer.

I must admit that my first impulse was to refuse: not from any disapprobation of your excellent company, which has given our House so many happy hours of reading your fiction lines, but because the discovery is yet so new as to make us want to keep it in our House, safe, as it were, until time has passed and the sensation died down. Yet your point about assisting the Society carried the day, first with my wife and then with me.

The papers that were discovered are the recorded correspondence between Emil Västerström and his close friend and crewmate on the Silent World Expedition, Lalli Hotakainen, over the course of fifty years or so. For this first volume, we shall release certain of my ancestor’s letters, with the balance held for future publication. If your company desires to publish the entire correspondence (which makes for fascinating reading, in my opinion), you must also gain permission from whatever heirs of the Hotakainens that there are and present us with a copy of that permission. I trust this is acceptable to “the oldest and largest publisher in Sweden”, and I remain,

Yours Most Respectfully,
Lalli Emil Aukusti Mikkel Västerström,
Västerström House
Östersund

Author's Notes
Spoiler: show
I just love the idea that the chief publisher of "sordid romances" would be the only pre-Rash publisher still standing.
« Last Edit: July 12, 2015, 11:35:41 AM by LooNEY_DAC »

videovance

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #714 on: July 12, 2015, 04:20:25 AM »
ClairityKoi, I wish you good luck on your project! It does sound like a huge undertaking, especially since there are such a huge amount of SSSSonas already (and some still being made (I am 100% guilty of this)). But I think you can do it!
If it means anything, I reckon everyone's gonna be really hype about the whole thing ;w; so that will probably make it easier to talk to people + get to know everyone in the forum!

LooNEY_DAC, I'm not gonna lie, I'm constantly hoping you update a new chapter for your fic, so I was really excited to see this one! I love this installment, it really brings out the whole 'legendary figure' view of Emil. Giving both perspectives of public idolization and Emil's plainer perspective is really fantastic (and co-incidentally my absolutely love in literature). Well done!

LooNEY_DAC

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #715 on: July 12, 2015, 05:01:17 PM »
…And now, back to our regular time-frame.

Correspondence
A “Stand Still. Stay Silent” fanfic
Part IX
Spoiler: show
Year 119, Winter

Lalli,

The thick blanket of snow covering all the land seems to want to consume any sound made around it, and so all is quiet in Sweden at last.

Now that we have time to breathe, it seems everyone in Sweden’s trying to out-do each other in doing “things” for me. It’s a strange feeling to know that you can request just about anything and get it. I could get to like it too much by far, and so I will only request those things beneficial to the Cleansers: I shall restore the Cleanser training protocols, taking charge of the training organization myself and restaffing it with the superannuated or otherwise invalided--no able-bodied Cleanser will eschew the field, and the elders’ experience won’t be wasted as it currently is.

The damage done will probably take another full generation of Cleansers to fix, but it must be done. I have made good strides already, I think, and when I’ve restructured the training system to how it was before the High Command broke it, things should right themselves, however slowly it happens. Until then, however, I cannot in good conscience leave Sweden--I would not put it past the High Command to do something behind my back that they’d never dare were I present.

Tuuri’s last letter was certainly brimming with news: I hear you have an apprentice at last; that Onni has finally hung up his hood to be with his family; and that Tuuri herself is in danger of being shuffled off to a post reserved for the superannuated (which I think would be the death of her; her energy needs to be spent productively or it’ll fade).

Don’t forget to tell me all about this apprentice of yours when next you write; or is that some special taboo of the Finnish Mages? I’m sorry to press you if it is.

Your Cleanser friend,
Emil Västerström

*
Year 120, Summer

Lalli,

Well, it happened. The moment he turned 13, my Aku signed up to be a Cleanser.

This was not unexpected, as he’s been fascinated with them almost from birth, but, as a father, I wish he’d waited a year or two in order to be doubly sure. But Aku is not like Esko, my little skaldling, or like Little Mikkel, the budding dramatist, of all things! No, Aku is following his heart.

As the head of training for the Cleansers, this puts me in a bind, however, as to have the appearance of easing my son’s path while obstructing others would bring shame on us both. I have explained this thoroughly to Aku, and instructed my subordinates in writing that they must expect more from him in every area and sub-area of training than any other cadet. I hope he’ll forgive me someday for what these next two years must be for him.

I’m still somewhat annoyed with you for thinking I might be too fragile to bear your happiness after my loss, but don’t let that stop you writing me. I still want to know all about your Kerttu, and whether you are planning a family of your own. I can say from experience that to have a child of your own is at once the greatest joy and the greatest pain possible, as my prior writings may have already made clear to you.

Your Cleanser friend,
Emil Västerström

Author's Notes
Spoiler: show
The Year of the Trolls ends, and the rise of another Västerström (or two, or three) to greatness begins.

Unfortunately, bad things happen in life, and so they will figure in the next part…

On a more serious note, I'd like to thank everyone who's commented for the nice things they've said. It helps tremendously to know the scribbling isn't met with a giant "Meh", like Tuuri let out on Pg 78.

Daéa Reina

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #716 on: July 12, 2015, 08:04:08 PM »
…And now, back to our regular time-frame.

Correspondence
A “Stand Still. Stay Silent” fanfic
Part IX
Spoiler: show
Year 119, Winter

Lalli,

The thick blanket of snow covering all the land seems to want to consume any sound made around it, and so all is quiet in Sweden at last.

Now that we have time to breathe, it seems everyone in Sweden’s trying to out-do each other in doing “things” for me. It’s a strange feeling to know that you can request just about anything and get it. I could get to like it too much by far, and so I will only request those things beneficial to the Cleansers: I shall restore the Cleanser training protocols, taking charge of the training organization myself and restaffing it with the superannuated or otherwise invalided--no able-bodied Cleanser will eschew the field, and the elders’ experience won’t be wasted as it currently is.

The damage done will probably take another full generation of Cleansers to fix, but it must be done. I have made good strides already, I think, and when I’ve restructured the training system to how it was before the High Command broke it, things should right themselves, however slowly it happens. Until then, however, I cannot in good conscience leave Sweden--I would not put it past the High Command to do something behind my back that they’d never dare were I present.

Tuuri’s last letter was certainly brimming with news: I hear you have an apprentice at last; that Onni has finally hung up his hood to be with his family; and that Tuuri herself is in danger of being shuffled off to a post reserved for the superannuated (which I think would be the death of her; her energy needs to be spent productively or it’ll fade).

Don’t forget to tell me all about this apprentice of yours when next you write; or is that some special taboo of the Finnish Mages? I’m sorry to press you if it is.

Your Cleanser friend,
Emil Västerström

*
Year 120, Summer

Lalli,

Well, it happened. The moment he turned 13, my Aku signed up to be a Cleanser.

This was not unexpected, as he’s been fascinated with them almost from birth, but, as a father, I wish he’d waited a year or two in order to be doubly sure. But Aku is not like Esko, my little skaldling, or like Little Mikkel, the budding dramatist, of all things! No, Aku is following his heart.

As the head of training for the Cleansers, this puts me in a bind, however, as to have the appearance of easing my son’s path while obstructing others would bring shame on us both. I have explained this thoroughly to Aku, and instructed my subordinates in writing that they must expect more from him in every area and sub-area of training than any other cadet. I hope he’ll forgive me someday for what these next two years must be for him.

I’m still somewhat annoyed with you for thinking I might be too fragile to bear your happiness after my loss, but don’t let that stop you writing me. I still want to know all about your Kerttu, and whether you are planning a family of your own. I can say from experience that to have a child of your own is at once the greatest joy and the greatest pain possible, as my prior writings may have already made clear to you.

Your Cleanser friend,
Emil Västerström

Author's Notes
Spoiler: show
The Year of the Trolls ends, and the rise of another Västerström (or two, or three) to greatness begins.

Unfortunately, bad things happen in life, and so they will figure in the next part…

On a more serious note, I'd like to thank everyone who's commented for the nice things they've said. It helps tremendously to know the scribbling isn't met with a giant "Meh", like Tuuri let out on Pg 78.


Spoiler: show

I'm always waiting eagerly for every new chapter of this fanfic.
I know not many people agree with me, but I can totally imagine Lalli settling down and having a family. Maybe when he is more mature and less guarded, but still keeping his silent and introverted nature. And funnily enough, I always imagined that it would be very cute if he ended up marrying his mage apprentice.
That being said, I'm so happy that you had the same thought! I was taken by surprise and started smiling like an idiot. I'm really looking forward to the next letters!
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Róisín

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #717 on: July 12, 2015, 10:37:33 PM »
I too can imagine Lalli marrying once he has lived enough to learn to trust that anything in his life will endure beyond the next few breaths. Reckon it would have to be another mage, though; I can't see him communicating enough with anyone else. Don't know whether he would need another silent person? Or a chatty one?
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Mélusine

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #718 on: July 13, 2015, 05:06:38 AM »
I too can imagine Lalli marrying once he has lived enough to learn to trust that anything in his life will endure beyond the next few breaths. Reckon it would have to be another mage, though; I can't see him communicating enough with anyone else. Don't know whether he would need another silent person? Or a chatty one?
Even if I'm not able to imagine such futures for the characters, I'm sure that if Lalli needs someone (This "someone" is including friend(s).), it's someone who respect his silence and his need of silence.
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SectoBoss

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #719 on: July 13, 2015, 04:33:58 PM »
People on other threads were wondering about the people on board the ISS when the rash hit, and that coupled with watching my friend play Kerbal Space Program of all things led to this. I pretty much wrote this on the bus home, then spent the next three days dithering about whether or not to turn it into a bigger fanfic or not. Hopefully, it’s turned out ok.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4334900

As always, I hope you like it!

And sheesh, I really should have been saying this earlier, but there’s been a lot of good stuff being put up on here lately! (LooNEY, ParanormalAndroid, StellersJayC, I’m looking at you guys.) Now if we could only get a rate of posts like the art thread… *wistfulness intensifies*
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