Author Topic: The SSSS Scriptorium  (Read 768545 times)

LooNEY_DAC

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3195 on: May 29, 2017, 09:36:12 PM »
That medication does that to me too. And I bet what he found was Giant Hogweed? Forms dense patches, irritates and photosensitises the skin, and is probably common in Denmark after 90 years with no eradication program. Poor Lalli!
Heh, my first thought was poison ivy, but I'm pretty sure that's a uniquely American thing (lucky us).
See, I was thinking that as a night scout he'd know the generically "don't touch me" plants, so I thought, "OK, he's just mildly allergic to some Danish plant he's never seen before", because people can have a contact dermatitis (usually hives) reaction from anything they're allergic to.

Róisín

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3196 on: May 29, 2017, 10:19:09 PM »
Giant hogweed (Heracleum mantegazzianum) comes from Central Asia and the Caucasus. It's a spectacularly beautiful plant (I've heard it described as 'Queen Anne's lace on steroids'). Unfortunately it became widespread as a garden ornamental before people realised just how prolific and weedy it was, and how extremely allergenic. Now many countries all over the world have programmes to try and eradicate it, but most of them are losing. Now add 90 years of neglect and no herbicides, and the stuff is probably all over.

Lazy8: poison ivy and poison oak (Rhus spp.) are sometimes found here in old gardens or in botanical collections. Again, they were imported as ornamentals for their lovely autumn colours before people realised how weedy they could be.

LoonNEY: look on the bright side - at least it wasn't our Australian stinging tree! I ran into a leaf of that in the dark, once, and it took months for the stinging sensation to fade. Every time my face got wet it would flare up again, and I still have a scar forty years later.
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LooNEY_DAC

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3197 on: May 29, 2017, 10:53:05 PM »
I posted something relevant in the "Books!" thread.

midwestmutt

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3198 on: May 30, 2017, 08:29:29 AM »
Giant hogweed (Heracleum mantegazzianum) comes from Central Asia and the Caucasus. It's a spectacularly beautiful plant (I've heard it described as 'Queen Anne's lace on steroids'). Unfortunately it became widespread as a garden ornamental before people realised just how prolific and weedy it was, and how extremely allergenic. Now many countries all over the world have programmes to try and eradicate it, but most of them are losing. Now add 90 years of neglect and no herbicides, and the stuff is probably all over.

Lazy8: poison ivy and poison oak (Rhus spp.) are sometimes found here in old gardens or in botanical collections. Again, they were imported as ornamentals for their lovely autumn colours before people realised how weedy they could be.

LoonNEY: look on the bright side - at least it wasn't our Australian stinging tree! I ran into a leaf of that in the dark, once, and it took months for the stinging sensation to fade. Every time my face got wet it would flare up again, and I still have a scar forty years later.
I had to google giant hogweed. Your description sounded very familiar but in our area it's known as poison parsnips. I got into it once and had colorful purple rashes and blisters. Though a guest in your country it seems to fit in well with with all the other charming ways Australia tries to kill everyone like your stinging tree which was a new one to me.
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Róisín

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3199 on: May 30, 2017, 08:59:24 AM »
Yeah, the stinging tree (Dendrocnide) is really special! It somewhat resembles the mulberry, to which it is related, and has quite a nice tasting fruit, if you can get past the leaves. In this case I was walking down a track in the dark, in the FNQ rainforest, heading for home, having given my torch to someone who didn't know the area and was coming a few minutes behind me. Stinging tree wood is rather pulpy and fragile. We had had a high wind earlier in the day, and a branch had broken and fallen across the path at about my head height. I walked slap into it. The most annoying part is the way the sting reactivates whenever the skin gets wet. For months. I can quite understand the early-settler stories about people who were stung and eventually went crazy and shot themselves.

And poison parsnips is indeed another name for giant hogweed. A good thing about botanical names is that they don't change with language or dialect of language!
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Lazy8

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3200 on: May 31, 2017, 08:37:08 AM »
I always get antsy if I go for too long without writing a Sigrun story. So here's a Sigrun story.

A Light that Never Comes

:usa: native
:spain: comes back in an emergency
:vaticancity: rusty
:china: can usually manage to order food
:norway: can hold a basic conversation

:chap5: | :book2: | :book3: | :chap17: :chap18:

LooNEY_DAC

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3201 on: May 31, 2017, 11:38:25 PM »
Alphabet Soup
A “Stand Still. Stay Silent” fanfic collection
Series 2, Part 11
Complete Links to Complete Links post
Spoiler: Keep Driving! • show
Lalli still wasn’t back from wherever he’d run the horses off to, which worried Tuuri, as the sounds of battle outside were loud enough that she suspected Sigrun, Emil and Mikkel could use another set of hands in fighting off the small horde of attacking grosslings.

The old highway leading out of Mikkeli had been quite good to them, despite its portentous designation of “13”; in fact, their troubles had only begun after it more-or-less dead-ended into another old highway, one not nearly in such good condition. That was the road that had led them into Jyväskylä, the death-trap they were currently desperately trying to escape as the sun slowly set.

They had been able to bypass most of the other villages and small towns along the way, but there was no way around Jyväskylä, and very few ways through; that was part of why it was an exclusion. The other part of why it was an exclusion was currently assaulting their vehicle as Tuuri drove it at its plodding full speed along the route Lalli had found for them.

The last thing Sigrun had told Tuuri before climbing atop their vehicle was, “Keep driving, no matter what. Do you understand? No matter what, keep driving!”

FFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM

The bursts from Emil’s flamethrower were getting longer and closer together. Tuuri was trying not to panic over the implication of this when Reynir’s hand covered hers on the steering wheel; she almost wrecked the vehicle, but aside from copious amounts of profanity that highlighted the idiosyncrasies of the three Norse languages, there were no signs that anyone up top had been shaken loose.

“We need to turn down that alleyway,” Reynir said, pointing at what looked to be a certain death-trap. “Lalli told me he’s got something there that’ll get us clear of all these grosslings, so we need to head that way.”

“Lalli what???” Tuuri protested, trying to straighten them back out. Reynir’s grip on the wheel was unrelenting, though, so it was either yield and pass into the alleyway or wreck the vehicle on one side of the opening or the other. Obviously, Tuuri wasn’t about to smash them into a building, though she wasn’t sure going into the tight, dark, narrow passage would be any better in the long haul.

The immediate effect, however, was to restrict the attacking grosslings to a much narrower front in their attacks, easing the work the defenders up top had to do considerably. Reynir yelled something up at Mikkel; Tuuri didn’t catch exactly what it was, but the sound of the flamethrower abruptly stopped.

Before Tuuri could unload on Reynir about respecting the driver and such, she spotted Lalli’s thin figure at the far end of the alleyway. He ran right at them, almost making Tuuri stop when he leapt onto the front hood and thence to the roof where the others were. Tuuri would never have believed it if she hadn’t seen it herself.

Tuuri had been trying to avoid looking in the wing mirrors, but now she saw a thin stream of liquid splashing out behind them. Then, just as they pulled clear of the alleyway, she saw four little things that looked like lit flares fly into the mass of grosslings behind them.

KA-THUMMMMMMMM

Flames belched from the alleyway, greedily licking at the back of the vehicle…


Spoiler: Authorial Notes • show
More “Deus Ex Mikkeli” sequel stuff here.

Lazy8

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3202 on: June 01, 2017, 09:14:56 AM »
Here's the usual notice that the Index has been updated, and that I encourage authors to check for any mistakes I might have made.

New this month: I've added an Afterlife setting!
:usa: native
:spain: comes back in an emergency
:vaticancity: rusty
:china: can usually manage to order food
:norway: can hold a basic conversation

:chap5: | :book2: | :book3: | :chap17: :chap18:

Róisín

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3203 on: June 01, 2017, 10:16:19 AM »
Good one!
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Buteo

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3204 on: June 01, 2017, 03:57:22 PM »
When I wrote "Next Cycle", I named all the cats after Sundbergs with English-language Wikipedia pages. For this, I re-used some of them.

Thanks!

That sounds like the kind of method I use for naming, when the thing to be named doesn't name itself.

LooNEY_DAC

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3205 on: June 02, 2017, 04:44:28 PM »
And here's more craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

Alphabet Soup
A “Stand Still. Stay Silent” fanfic collection
Series 3, Part 11
Complete Links to Complete Links post
Spoiler: The Kade Decayed • show
Once Upon a Time

Emil “Goldilocks” Västerström didn’t like hobnobbing with ghosts as a rule, but he was a well-mannered young man (when he remembered to be), so when his host Reynir Árnason brought a pair into the conversation they and the Three Bear Warriors were having about Trond the Crooked Man’s friend’s lost property, Emil was polite to them, and soon he was glad he had been.

You see, Reynir had come into possession of a haunted house in a little village in the middle of the big, dark, scary forest not long ago. Emil and the Three Bear Warriors had been asked by Trond the Crooked Man to go and ask if they could have some things the last owner of the haunted house had borrowed and not returned, so now they were all in the haunted house and Reynir was asking the ghosts if they knew where the things Emil was asking about were.

“Onni” was suspicious and not inclined to hide it when “he” looked at the visitors, but “Tuuri” was much friendlier and even helpful. “She” seemed especially inclined to chat with Reynir, though “she” seemed quite impressed by Sigrun, as well.

“I think I saw what you’re looking for in the Green-and-Gold Drawing Room,” “Tuuri” said, “but I confess I don’t pay much attention to things anymore.”

“Then let’s go have a look!” Sigrun enthused.

Emil looked over at Reynir. “If that’s all right with… the three of you?” he asked politely. “Onni” and “Tuuri” looked pleasantly surprised to be included, but remained silent, letting Reynir decide for “them”.

Reynir seemed rather intimidated by Sigrun’s enthusiasm for… well… everything, but he responded to Emil’s polite query happily enough, “Sure! Anything I can do to help you guys!”

So off they went to the Green-and-Gold Drawing Room, which was filled with green-and-gold drawings, as well as green-and-gold furniture, green-and-gold glassware, and many other green-and-gold things. The things asked after by Trond the Crooked Man for his friend were in fact in the room; they were in a little pile in one corner, all by themselves.

“Why on earth didn’t old Olsen just return the stuff, since he obviously wasn’t using it?” Sigrun asked.

Mikkel replied, “He never could let go of anything he had his hands on, even if he never thought twice about it.”

“Like this house,” “Onni” concurred. “That’s why he made his will the way he did: he wanted someone else like him to get what he had so assiduously held on to.” “Onni” looked at Reynir. “Fortunately, he failed.”

“Blah blah BLAH. Let’s get the stuff all packed and loaded up, or we won’t get into the big, dark, scary forest until after dawn!”

Reynir looked puzzled at Sigrun’s outburst. “Isn’t that a good thing? The thieves and robbers in the big, dark, scary forest don’t try to rob you in the daytime.”

Mikkel laughed his deep, rumbling laugh. “As Bear Warriors, we are the sworn enemies of all the thieves and robbers in the big, dark, scary forest, so drawing them out to try to rob us is half the reason we took this job to begin with.”

Lalli was looking at the pile suspiciously, the hair on his neck beginning to rise, but before Emil could bring this to the others’ attention, a Great Black Shadow rose up out of nowhere and covered the pile in menacing darkness.

“A Kade!” Lalli spat, hunching his back and hissing fiercely.

“What’s a Kade?” Emil asked, as the others all seemed to know already.

“Onni” was the one to answer. “A Kade is a spirit so filled with envy that it lingers on in spiteful wrath for generations; some will kill any mortals they come across. The last time we saw this Kade was more than a century ago, when it killed twelve people and a cute little kitten.”

“I thought he wasn’t around anymore!” “Tuuri” wailed in horror as the Great Black Shadow loomed larger and larger in menacing darkness. “RUN, everybody!”

Sigrun growled and was obviously about to loudly and verbosely deny any intention of running from a fight, but what happened next stunned them all into silence.

Suddenly, Emil’s hair threw off a huge mass of sparkles, which surrounded him in swirls of gold. One sparkle floated up and hovered directly in front of Emil’s face. “I am Ulf, the King of the Sparkle Fairies, and I am your great-great-grandfather.”

Before Emil could reply to this source of his Goldilocks, the sparkle flew over towards the Great Black Shadow loomed in menacing darkness, the others following in a glittering cascade. Finally, when they were all gathered around the Great Black Shadow, they all cried out in one voice, “GO AWAY!”

The Great Black Shadow shuddered and slowly, reluctantly vanished. When it was completely gone, the sparkles vanished as well.

Sigrun looked torn between pride at Emil indirectly vanquishing the Kade and disappointment that she herself hadn’t had a crack at it, but the others were all just relieved.

An hour or so later, Reynir and his ghostly “housemates” waved farewell to Emil and the Three Bear Warriors as they went into the big, dark, scary forest with the stuff…


Spoiler: Authorial Notes • show
Is it just me, or are my crack!fics getting even crackier than they were before?

…For some reason, I want to blame corncobman for the Sparkle Fairies.
« Last Edit: June 18, 2017, 03:08:55 PM by LooNEY_DAC »

Lazy8

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3206 on: June 03, 2017, 09:55:54 AM »
I think this is right on the edge of what's acceptable to post on the main forum. Let me know if I should move it to the mature board.

A Murder of Crows

:usa: native
:spain: comes back in an emergency
:vaticancity: rusty
:china: can usually manage to order food
:norway: can hold a basic conversation

:chap5: | :book2: | :book3: | :chap17: :chap18:

LooNEY_DAC

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3207 on: June 04, 2017, 07:39:47 PM »
Alphabet Soup
A “Stand Still. Stay Silent” fanfic collection
Series 1, Part 12
Complete Links to Complete Links post
Spoiler: A Late Arrival • show
“RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEYYYYYYNNNNNNDDDDIIIIIIISSSSS!!!!!”

Michaela Madsen sighed heavily as she applied herself to the washing, hoping Reyndis didn’t hurt herself in her haste to answer Sigurd’s call. For some reason, the gangly Icelandic mage seemed incapable of keeping to the fairly reasonable schedule the team was working under, which was unusual; Michaela had known Reyndis for several years now, and the younger girl had always been scatterbrained but punctual. Even at the Øresund Base, Reyndis had been on time or early, but once they’d crossed into the Silent World…

Mia and Lalli eyed Sigurd warily, hoping their fuming captain would do no more than blow smoke at Reyndis once the laggard joined them, and not too much, at that. This was only the third day of the expedition, so they were all still getting a feel for each other, more or less; Mia and Lalli had the advantage of being wingmen, so their teamwork was honed to a fine edge, but the others were all pretty much unknown quantities.

Fortunately, all of them were immune, so there was no need for the elaborate precautions their predecessor expedition had been obliged to undertake, though most of them wouldn’t have shunned a wash-up after returning from a day in the field, either.

Once Sigurd had vented his spleen sufficiently at poor Reyndis, her face near the color of her braid by the end, they walked out along the great stone causeway to the rickety pier by the tumble-down remnants of the lighthouse. No ship would be waiting to offload supplies for them; their mysterious sponsor had merely instructed them to place a small but heavy stone plaque to commemorate the event and requested photographic proof of same. Neither of these were unreasonable, so the group wrestled the stone into position next to the rusted-out winches and waited for Michaela and Tuuli to get the camera set up.

The photograph was supposed to feature them all, so Tuuli set the timer and got into position with the rest of them, though he looked around nervously as he did so. A cold wind blew across the group just as the shutter snapped for the first time, completely ruining the composition and posing, but the camera was set to take a five-picture burst, so ruining one or two was OK for any but a perfectionist. Tuuli was trying hard not to be a perfectionist, so he kept quiet.

The other thing he kept quiet about, and had been for some time, was a nagging sense of danger that just wouldn’t go away, though none of the others seemed to feel it. Tuuli was used to picking up hints of nearby grosslings or other such dangers, but this was different somehow.

With a mighty rumble, an honest to goodness giant burst forth from below ground; Tuuli’s immediate reaction was, Oh, that explains it, followed by a frightened yell as more and more of the giant came forth. Fortunately, it did so within the ruins of the ancient lighthouse, and took its time about emerging into the daylight, or they would have been slaughtered within seconds.

Unfortunately, the six of them were now facing the largest giant any of them had ever seen…


Spoiler: Authorial Notes • show
So, here’s the long-delayed sequel to An Interested Party. Again, there will be more to come.

LooNEY_DAC

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3208 on: June 05, 2017, 04:32:41 AM »
Alphabet Soup
A “Stand Still. Stay Silent” fanfic collection
Series 2, Part 12
Complete Links to Complete Links post
Spoiler: Left and Right • show
The store the boys were raiding was totally unsuitable for a nest, which relieved Emil greatly, though it considerably lowered their chances of finding anything usable, while increasing the amount of explosives they would need to bring it down completely if they had to. Emil was carrying enough to do the job, though.

Emil had seen a great variety of buildings in various states of decay since the mission began, and had learned that the most dilapidated were, rather paradoxically, generally the hardest to bring down. Fortunately, the most dilapidated generally didn’t need to be brought down; on the other hand, if Emil had learned anything at all about the Silent World, it was that nowhere was absolutely safe. Thus, he mentally noted the best places to put charges to bring the place down at need.

When Emil heard the small noise, he looked over to his left. There, to his right, was Lalli, having just returned with his arms full of Old Time bounty.

Emil shook his head and looked down. It was happening again.

From the very beginning of the expedition, Emil had noticed moments where left and right seemed to inexplicably switch out and back again in bewildering flashes, but none of the others seemed to be aware of it. There was no predicting when or where it would happen, and just as obviously no controlling it, so Emil just had to ride it out whenever it happened. After the first few odd looks, he’d stopped mentioning it.

Of course, one of the few benefits of Lalli’s limited comprehension of Swedish was that Emil could vent about it when they were alone without fear of being judged, so now he did, while sorting through what Lalli had retrieved and putting the good items into the wheelbarrow he’d found.

“Yep. Left and right went bad again.”

Emil stopped in stunned amazement at the laconic utterance. He was so startled that he almost dropped the wheelbarrow. Before he could gather his wits to express his incredulity that someone else noticed and he wasn’t going crazy, thank Nobel, Lalli spoke again.

“Does that sometimes. Don’t know why.” Lalli gestured at the rifle slung on his back. “These go away and back, too.”

Emil grimaced and nodded. “At least they’re there when we need them,” he pointed out. Then, in an effort to relieve the gloom that seemed to have taken up permanent residence on Lalli’s face, Emil added, “Wouldn’t it be nice if it happened to the grosslings, though? I mean, one minute they’re all there, and the next one of their legs has fallen off or something.” He mimed something falling over and writhing on the ground.

Lalli didn’t laugh, but something behind his face relaxed a little for a moment. Hoping he could extend that moment, Emil said, “Hey hey, look,” and gestured at a lone flower he’d spotted earlier, growing in a spot sheltered by a fragment of fallen glass.

Emil watched Lalli’s face carefully, waiting for his Finn friend’s reaction…


Spoiler: Authorial Notes • show
What, me mock Our Dear Minna’s problems with which way is which?

Well, obviously, but not in any kind of mean way.

This was a bit more timely than I meant it to be, though.

Róisín

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #3209 on: June 05, 2017, 05:18:12 AM »
Don't tell me, the expedition is a probability nexus for both the present survival of humanity and for their future conquest of space, right? Accordingly, the lines keep shifting...... Did you ever read Piper's 'Lord Kalvan' stories? I'm still laughing at one of the characters being quite justifiably amused by the stuffy probability scientist having all his nice theories blown away.
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