Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 110854 times)

Purple Wyrm

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #135 on: May 31, 2016, 01:32:03 AM »
Purple Wyrm, who does the drummer tell those jokes on?

I believe the base guitarist is next in the pecking order :)
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⁂ Iron fisted ruler of Caversham Airfield ⁂ Sigrun isn't immune, t

frostykitty

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #136 on: May 31, 2016, 03:39:28 PM »
*Slightly offended percussionist gasp* Well, I'm sure that was a lot of troubleclef...

Iceea

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #137 on: May 31, 2016, 10:56:48 PM »
This is kind of long
Spoiler: show

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender "give me a beer", the bartender replies "we don't serve beer to bears in Boise". The bear is upset, "you don't serve beer to bears", "I'm a bear, I could tear this place apart!" The bartender replies again "we don't serve beer to bears in Boise". Now the bear is getting really angry "I could tear you apart" The bartender's reply is the same "we don't serve beer to bears in Boise". The bear just lets out a loud growl and goes to the end of the bar and grabs a women and tears her apart and eats half of her. He goes back to the bartender and says, "see, you're next if you don't serve me". The bartender repeats his line "we don't serve beer to bears in Boise", " besides you're on drugs". The bear says "what do you mean I'm on drugs?" The bartender replies "well what about that bar-b****-u-just-ate?"


Iceea quietly exits the room...
:usa: obviously :france: too many yrs ago
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urbicande

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #138 on: June 17, 2016, 01:00:07 PM »
Today a truck carrying red paint and another carrying purple paint collided at a traffic island.

Both drivers were marooned.
Keep an eye on me. I shimmer on horizons.

Survivor: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: / :book2:   :chap13:   :chap14:  :chap15: :chap16: / :book3:  :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20:  :chap21: / :book4:

:A2chap01:

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OwlsG0

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #139 on: June 18, 2016, 07:03:45 PM »
I, for one, like Roman Numerals

I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

Purple Wyrm

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #140 on: June 18, 2016, 09:19:04 PM »
There are two types of people in this world. Those who can count, those who can't count, those who aren't sure if they can count or not, and those who don't understand the basic structure of jokes.

(Not mine, but I heard it the other day and thought it was perfect for this thread ;) )
Native :australia:
Fluent :newzealand: :uk: :usa: :canada: (Yes, I realise that's cheating)
Might remember some in an emergency :italy:
Understands the concept, just not the specifics :vaticancity:

:chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :chap21:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04: :A2chap05:



⁂ Iron fisted ruler of Caversham Airfield ⁂ Sigrun isn't immune, t

Keeper

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #141 on: June 18, 2016, 09:30:06 PM »
There are two types of people in this world. Those who can count, those who can't count, those who aren't sure if they can count or not, and those who don't understand the basic structure of jokes.

(Not mine, but I heard it the other day and thought it was perfect for this thread ;) )

Slightly nerdier one that I used to have on a shirt:

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
:chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :book3: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :book4:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04:

Mark my words, it's not quite what you thought.

Athena

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #142 on: June 18, 2016, 11:21:11 PM »
Slightly nerdier one that I used to have on a shirt:

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

YES! My brother has a shirt like that too! ;D
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currently working on a video game/digital novel called Keeper of the Labyrinth<3

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Shine

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #143 on: June 19, 2016, 12:44:01 AM »
Slightly nerdier one that I used to have on a shirt:

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
I was considering posting this one, then I scrolled farther down and saw yours.
Curses! Foiled again!
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Noodles

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #144 on: June 19, 2016, 03:56:09 PM »
A rabbit walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a gin and ....... tonic."
The bartender says, "OK, but why the little pause?"
The rabbit looks at his feet and says, "well, I've had them my whole life, I don't know, I guess it comes with being a rabbit?"
I'll do art-swaps and beta-reads, PM me!
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Purple Wyrm

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #145 on: June 19, 2016, 06:54:54 PM »
YES! My brother has a shirt like that too! ;D

And me! :D
Native :australia:
Fluent :newzealand: :uk: :usa: :canada: (Yes, I realise that's cheating)
Might remember some in an emergency :italy:
Understands the concept, just not the specifics :vaticancity:

:chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :chap21:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04: :A2chap05:



⁂ Iron fisted ruler of Caversham Airfield ⁂ Sigrun isn't immune, t

ginger

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #146 on: June 19, 2016, 07:28:22 PM »
In a similar vein (and courtesy of the ever delightful Hank Green):

There are two types of people in this world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
:usa: :france:
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Solokov

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #147 on: June 21, 2016, 01:18:02 PM »
Three jaffa meet on a netral world.
 The serpent guards eyes glow.
The horus guards beak glistens.
The Setesh guards nose drips.
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writing things for you,
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Purple Wyrm

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #148 on: June 21, 2016, 07:22:18 PM »
Three jaffa meet on a netral world.
 The serpent guards eyes glow.
The horus guards beak glistens.
The Setesh guards nose drips.

BEST. JAFFA. JOKE. EVER.

On another subject, where do vampire pencils come from?

Spoiler: show
PENNSYLVANIA!
Native :australia:
Fluent :newzealand: :uk: :usa: :canada: (Yes, I realise that's cheating)
Might remember some in an emergency :italy:
Understands the concept, just not the specifics :vaticancity:

:chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :chap21:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04: :A2chap05:



⁂ Iron fisted ruler of Caversham Airfield ⁂ Sigrun isn't immune, t

Antillanka

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #149 on: June 21, 2016, 10:56:23 PM »
BEST. JAFFA. JOKE. EVER.

On another subject, where do vampire pencils come from?

Spoiler: show
PENNSYLVANIA!


Whyyyyyyyy?!?!?!?
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