Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 110783 times)

Athena

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • previously Luth Nightbreeze
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 2682
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #60 on: March 16, 2016, 03:45:51 PM »
A couple of friends and I have actually started a pun game over Discord. (service like Skype but better) Basically every day a topic is chosen and you have to make puns on it. Here is the last two days of chat: (I edited out my friends names because they might not want to have it online, idk)

Spoiler: show
Topic: Tea

me: It's a pretty steep challenge, but I can do this.

friend a: What do you call a dinosaur drinking tea? A TEA-REX

me: I should matcha a cup of tea, it's been oolong since I last had some.
The other day I bought too much tea and I didn't have enough money to pu'erh for it.

friend b: Tea... man it's green so long since I've had it
I seriously cant teaven remember the last time

Topic: D&D

friend c: This pun contest is just dragon on for ever

friend a: come on guys stop gibbering your mouthers about d&d puns.

friend c: Its knife to see you, Vechna.

friend a: The true beauty of puns is in the eye of the beholder

friend d: This game is my pungeon

me: I was once attacked by a shambling mound. once it had me in it's clutches, I was forest to give in.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2016, 07:39:33 PM by Luth Nightbreeze »
tired programmer girl with stories in her head and magic in her heart

currently working on a video game/digital novel called Keeper of the Labyrinth<3

avatar from the now-unavailable webcomic Prague Race

LadyRamkin

  • Safe-Zone Citizen
  • **
  • Posts: 136
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #61 on: March 16, 2016, 06:46:10 PM »
Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? 

Spoiler: show
It was ground breaking.  XD

I love "trowl" you made that pun. I really "dig" it

meshebe

  • Ranger
  • ****
  • altruistic idiot
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him
  • Posts: 720
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #62 on: March 20, 2016, 12:07:26 AM »
LadyRamkin, your puns are terra-rific!  I'm glad you unearthed the full potential of that lame joke.   ;D

Anyway, I found another good chemistry joke:

Did you know protons have mass?
Spoiler: show
....I didn't even know they were Catholic....
XD
:artd: :book1+: :book2: :book3: :book4: :A2chap01:

Avatar made by the most awesome Tap.

loki

  • Scout
  • ***
  • santas goin NUTS
  • Preferred pronouns: they/them
  • Posts: 287
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #63 on: March 20, 2016, 12:15:23 AM »
this is a little......inappropriate?
but i made it up myself and i am proud of it (unfortunately)
so here it is

what do you call a group of boobs?
Spoiler: show
a communititty
(ㅇㅅㅇ❀)

Nimphy

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • The Almighty Phoenix, future Ruler of the World
  • Posts: 1792
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #64 on: March 20, 2016, 03:26:38 AM »
LadyRamkin, your puns are terra-rific!  I'm glad you unearthed the full potential of that lame joke.   ;D

Anyway, I found another good chemistry joke:

Did you know protons have mass?
Spoiler: show
....I didn't even know they were Catholic....
XD

....
Wow.
Fluent: :italy:, :albania:, :usa:

Okay: :spain:

Learning: :germany: :norway: :japan:

Bloody messed-up spoils of a language: :france:

Survivor: :chap0: :chap1: :chap2: :chap3: :chap4: :chap5: :chap6: :chap7: :chap8:

Purple Wyrm

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • The Bombay Sausage of 2018!
  • Preferred pronouns: He/Him/Dat Fing
  • Posts: 2436
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #65 on: March 21, 2016, 01:11:37 AM »
Marvolo the psychic pygmy has escaped from Police custody.

Officers are on the lookout for a small medium at large.
Native :australia:
Fluent :newzealand: :uk: :usa: :canada: (Yes, I realise that's cheating)
Might remember some in an emergency :italy:
Understands the concept, just not the specifics :vaticancity:

:chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :chap21:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04: :A2chap05:



⁂ Iron fisted ruler of Caversham Airfield ⁂ Sigrun isn't immune, t

OwlsG0

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • I am occasionally scared by my own hair.
  • Preferred pronouns: She/She?/Human?/ Gender?
  • Posts: 1011
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #66 on: March 23, 2016, 05:08:20 PM »
I'll include the stage directions for the way I hear this one, because it adds that extra special bit of cheese

Spoiler: show

Friend: (punches me in the arm) Hey, hey, dude
Me: huh?
Friend: So you know how you're Puerto Rican and British, right?
Me: Oh no, I had completely forgotten by own ethnicity
Friend: So if you're Puerto Rican before you go in the bathroom and Puerto Rican when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom?
Me: What am I?
Friend: (horse-like snort) EUROPEAN
(something green drips out of their nose due to snort. Friend dives off couch to get tissues, still howling with laughter)
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

urbicande

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • --.- .-. .-.. ..--..
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him/his
  • Posts: 3755
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #67 on: March 23, 2016, 05:10:27 PM »
That vampire wizard joke reminded me:

'What do you call a selchie who is a solitary mage?
An hermetic seal.'

*groan*

I guess that's payback for the woad less traveled.
Keep an eye on me. I shimmer on horizons.

Survivor: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: / :book2:   :chap13:   :chap14:  :chap15: :chap16: / :book3:  :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20:  :chap21: / :book4:

:A2chap01:

Fluent:  :usa: :uk: :canada:
Basic conversation:  :france: :germany:
Learning: :sweden: :finland:
A couple of words:  :spain: :italy:

meshebe

  • Ranger
  • ****
  • altruistic idiot
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him
  • Posts: 720
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #68 on: March 31, 2016, 11:13:30 PM »
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
Spoiler: show

An irrelephant.


Haaaaah  :))
:artd: :book1+: :book2: :book3: :book4: :A2chap01:

Avatar made by the most awesome Tap.

Jethan

  • Ranger
  • ****
  • Lurker and Forum Gamer
  • Posts: 822
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #69 on: April 01, 2016, 03:41:31 AM »
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
Spoiler: show

An irrelephant.


Haaaaah  :))

Well, it made me laugh!   :D
An innate goofball who wanted to be elegant and composed.  That ain't happening.

OwlsG0

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • I am occasionally scared by my own hair.
  • Preferred pronouns: She/She?/Human?/ Gender?
  • Posts: 1011
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #70 on: April 01, 2016, 05:13:00 AM »
this is a little......inappropriate?
but i made it up myself and i am proud Mikkel it (unfortunately)
Tuuri here it is

what do you call a group Mikkel boobs?
Spoiler: show
a communititty


This April 1st edit is a new joke in itself
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

urbicande

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • --.- .-. .-.. ..--..
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him/his
  • Posts: 3755
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #71 on: April 01, 2016, 10:52:43 AM »
I was going to be a cardiologist, but my heart just wasn't in it.
Keep an eye on me. I shimmer on horizons.

Survivor: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: / :book2:   :chap13:   :chap14:  :chap15: :chap16: / :book3:  :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20:  :chap21: / :book4:

:A2chap01:

Fluent:  :usa: :uk: :canada:
Basic conversation:  :france: :germany:
Learning: :sweden: :finland:
A couple of words:  :spain: :italy:

IKEA

  • Guest
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #72 on: April 03, 2016, 04:26:35 PM »
Have you ever been to the south of France?
Spoiler: show
It's very Nice.

Krisse Kovacs

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
    • Tumblr
  • MARTTI, he/him
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him
  • Posts: 1475
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #73 on: April 03, 2016, 07:02:49 PM »
I did a bad joke

I was going to colour my art, but I used only one black pen, so I said:
Spoiler: show
"I will shade with the 50 shades of grey"
can speak :hungary::uk: used to learn :germany: is learning :sweden::finland: can read a bit :norway::denmark: want to learn :iceland:
survived :chap8: - :chap9: - :chap10: - :chap11: - :chap12: - :chap13: - :chap14: - :chap15: - :chap16: - :chap17: - :chap18: - :chap19: - :chap20:

JoB

  • Mage of the Great Restructuring
  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • Posts: 4102
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #74 on: April 05, 2016, 07:57:17 PM »
Have you ever been to the south of France?
Spoiler: show
It's very Nice.

Yes, and yes,
Spoiler: show
it Cannes be that.
native: :de: secondary: :us: :fr:
:artd: :book1+: :book2: :book3: :book4: etc.
PGP Key 0xBEF02A15, Fingerprint C12C 53DC BB92 2FE5 9725  C1AE 5E0F F1AF BEF0 2A15